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ALWAYS Had This Emptyness

I'M A GUY 61. WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL. I ALWAYS LIED TO THE TEACHERS. I WAS A DREAMER. I READ ALOT. I HAVE ALWAYS SPENT TIME WITH DISABLED AND DISADVANTAGED PEOPLE. I THOUGHT THAT BY SHARRING MY SINCERITY AND WARMTH I COULD FIND FULFILLMENT IN THESE PEOPLE. I REALLY LIKE THEM BECAUSE FEW OTHERS TAKE THE TIME TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM AND I FELL AN INTENSITY IN THEIR expression OF THEMSELVES. THIS IS ALL I CAN DO. 10 YEARS OF COLLEGE AA, BFA, MFA, M URBAN PLANNING. IT REALLY ISEN'T ANYTHING USEFUL HOWEVER. IN THIS WORLD, MANY DON'T READ OR PERSUE FACTS AND TRUTH IN THEIR LIVES. THE HYPE ON THE TV NEWS IS SO NOT REAL. I KNOW I'LL BE MISSED BUT YOU KNOW IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW I EXISTED. I THINK MY MOTIVATIAN IS IN MY BELIEF IN SOMETHING AFTER LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. SO I WILL GO. WE ALL DO YOU KNOW. I STUDY ASTRONOMY. I HAVE A CONCEPT OF THE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE. THERE IS MORE BEYOND WHAT WE SEE. I FIND COMFORT IN THIS AND POSSESS A HUNGER FOR THE KNOWLEDGE THAT IT IS. MINE WILL BE AN ACCIDENT. THIS WILL ASSURE MY LOVED ONES WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF. THE ONLY ITEM LEFT IS TO SUCCEED IN AQUIRING MY VA DISABILITY. THEY WERE NOT GOOD TO ME WHEN I WAS IN. WORTHLESS TOOK ON A NEW MEANING. I WOULD NOT LET THEM WIN MY SOUL SO THEY TOOK MY MIND INSTEAD.
MAHDEEN MAHDEEN 61-65 2 Responses Jul 20, 2008

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So, besides having a really long T-shirt with tiny writing on the front and back, you would be silencing the voice that could teach many about deeper communication, loving and learning in the moment, consideration and empathy for others. Mmmm. Selfish. Write more. Teach others about your friends, yourself, and "the depths of this world." I look forward to your sharing in some way other than a T-shirt I'd have to read with a magnifying glass as you slowly turn around to let me read the back...

You never know how you have touched someones life unknowingly. Many of my friends are dead and the special ones I make a point of mentioning their acheivements. They will not be forgotten while I remember them and their stories may be used to teach others. There are many that do not understand the depths of this world but here are some that do.