Going Against The Grain

I have often talked about keeping distance, not for myself but for anyone who stands to get hurt. This isn't of my nature to hurt anyone unintentionally. I would rather be alone then to allow that to happen.

I met this lovely lady who has fought hard to keep her feelings to herself and I being of whom I am had asked to take this slow in fear of it either going to fast, too fast where things tend to be missed.

I am so afraid that if she feels that I do not care for her, the fact is I do very much. My work and my life is already fast paced and on the ove on a daily basis. I knew what my life was going to be like after investing a lot of money and time on this business. It owns me and my time until I have established my place and myself.

She knows that the time line is so different and I want so much to speak with her but the time line is vast enough where I must get my sleep while she may be on looking for me. This is my fear, this is what I am afraid will happen. If my business requires my entire attention, which it already has, I may not have any time to think about my own personal needs.

I'm not emotionally bankrupt, I am given so little time.
lighthouse2010 lighthouse2010
41-45, M
20 Responses Jan 14, 2013

One lucky person ! Hope you are united with her now.. Best Wishes for you and her..

well there's a couple ways you can look at this situation... if indeed you want to spend time with her... is there any way you could incorporate her into your business?
she is going to feel left out... altho she knows she shouldn't say anything, depending on personality of the woman, she will either look elsewhere, for someone who can meet her needs... or she will sit around and wait for something that may or may not ever happen. or... she will tell you exactly where to go for stringing her along.
or.. if like me.. will go thru stages of all three..
you have no right to want a relationship with someone if you aren't willing to put in the time. i guess that pretty much sums it up for me...

you sure are busy..yet you find time to be at EP ;)

Ah I know the feeling of holding back. Timing is important!

Talking always helps situations to have a resolution....be honest.

Even though you are busy, try to find the time to talk, but I commend you on not rushing in too quick, good luck, hope it works out for you

i think it would be nice if you tried talking with her about it? I mean sometimes for those people its hard to understand themselves and they are acting as any person would in a similar situation,, you know that its easy to think for her its just a decision but maybe to her it is not so easy to cope with whatever shes going thru, and she feels mentally tortured,,, have you spoken to her about seeing a therapist? I think this could be easy for you to try as you say you have the resources and finding a good therapist couldnt be too difficult

I like your profile
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this story is moot

what does moot mean?

Such is life.....it's a balancing act! Just remember to do what makes YOU happy!

Sammy Jo xx

i have been learning more and more...
that we can only offer what we have...
the truth,
but cannot and are not...
responsible for others' feelings...
their response,
their emotions...
we can care how another feels...
but that is very different from the illusion that
we are somehow sooo powerful
that we can make another person do or feel anything....
people do
what they have already made up their minds to do...
people see what they choose to see....
k done...
so glad i was able to respond to this...
helped me remember some things i always need to remind myself about...
joyinthejourney, clg

You see life in depth and realistically. Remind yourself to write more poetry.

I think she can has very good influe on you on all level.When you will be more peacful on heart,you can eazier work your job.Maybe a litle can work divided ,and have a litle more time for you and her.Just be honestly with her and your emotion dont scared,only with open way of talking you will make with her bond,which you want.For love must be enought time...

no matter how busy u are,u have to find time for her,am sure she understand your work but you have to have a time with her even for few hours

Time is everywhere. It's just that you have not found it. Search, and you will find. I am sure will succeed.

Aww...I'm sure she understands your job is important to you. At least your doing the best you can, that should be all that matters. Good things come to those who wait. Keep smiling, and doing your best. ^_~

that is wisdom...yep

I feel the emotional battle inside. Sounds like you have to choose between your heart and your mind. Take things slow and think things out just like you have been doing. My heart says find a way to work on a relationship with this lady if she is special to you. I don't know what your job is, but it sounds like that's your first commitment. Is there time in your future that you can concentrate on a relationship. If it's not in the near future, I think your lady may be a bit lonely.

Take care of yourself, and I hope everything turns out well for you. :-)

Hope you can find the time you both need so much. To build the relationship.

I TOTALLY agree! Relationships NEED time to be made stronger. That is a fact.

You really should make a little time for her if you care about her that much. I understand that your business takes all of your time, but you may not find another woman you care so much about, and then all women for you will only be sex.

This is sad. Sometimes you feel like you are doing the best you can do but it is still not enough. That is the sad part. I hope that someday soon things slow down for you so that you can have more down time, more time to focus on the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. It is a tough balance to find sometimes.