I Would Love To Keep My House Clean And Organized.

I have one of the worse houses in the world. I won't have company and hide when someone knocks at the door.

Let me explain something first. I come from a long line of ADHDers. I start to clean one place and get distracted and I am off to do that. I'm not on medication for ADHD and have panic attacks as well as generalized anxiety disorder. I am afraid of the medication for ADHDers because of panic attacks. Now, I know that some of you are in the same boat and are managing to keep you home somewhat neat. I need help.

To add to my problem, I have a son and 2 grandsons who are ADHD so the house is destroyed when they visit. My son won't take medication. I have about a 2500 sq.ft home and my husband does no yard work and the  yard used to be beautiful. He won't even dig a hole for me to plant a rose. The grass is up to my knees. I have a 2500 sq ft basement that is in the same condition since it is a catch all.

When my parents were alive they had 2 maids and 3 yard men. Now it's up to me. My Son does come and mow the yards sometimes with a bush hog but now it's not working.

I feel as though I live in a third world country in my own home. My Mom built the plans for this house and my footprints are in the basement when I was 3. I moved away and came home when my father fell ill. I am overwhelmed to the point that I am just frozen and don't know where to start. I feel like I am shoveling snow while it is still snowing. My family won't help at all.

Help, I'm drowning.

Thank group,

lookinggood lookinggood
56-60, F
6 Responses Aug 5, 2010

I empathize with you. I like your quote of you feel like you're shoveling snow while it's still snowing. I feel that way with mail- even if I've gotten a corner cleared off and feel I might have the mail under control, BOOM! Another big pile comes all at once and I'm frozen.

Hi I am a single mum with 3 kids and have moved from a large 5 bedroom house into a tiny cottage but thankfully the kids have a room each . I find if I keep the maIn lounge /dining room clean for visiters and the kids look after their own room each ( or close the door on their roooms) then it is not so bad. <br />
If you tidy one area at a time and insist on this area being kept clean then you just put what doesnt belong into the kids rooms ( ie their shoes, jumpers etc which they leave lying around) . The back yard you do bit by bit...start by mowing the grass then do one flower bed at a time. <br />
It will take some time but once you have it organised tell everyone they need to clear their own junk up as it is not fair on you. Hope this helps,<br />
Sue <br />
Also don't sweat the small stuff but do be firm once you have an area cleared !

I would suggest sitting down with your family and just tell them what you told us. Maybe plan 1 day where all of you can help clean. Just a bit of advice, don't move things from room to room. If you haven't used it or don't remember you had it. you don't need it:)

Thanks for your comments. My husband and family seem to work against me. If it's presentable and I work my self to death to keep it that way, I am defeated by family. I feel as though I live in a 3rd world country. I do need to collect everything not being used(and never will) and put it on eBay. It would help pay for a crew of cleaners.

I understand how you feel, my house is a lot of work and I don't have the tools to do all that needs to be done. I also am a single mom and have kids who are less than motivated to tidy up and organize because I always do everything....eventually. ;) I let things go from time to time and if the house is organized well it usually stays tidy in at least 2 or 3 rooms, even with total chaos. Sometimes though you have to just take everything out and rethink where it should go and what you need as opposed to what you have. Don't be afraid to get rid of crap. Don't waste your time saying you will have a yard sale if you know you won't and if you do make it clear that anything that doesn't sell goes to Good Will that day. <br />
You can get it under control but it will take planning and sacrifice. Hire some cleaners and gardeners and get it under control so that you can spend your energy maintaining it once it is done. It is an investment for your sanity and quality of living.<br />
I am a very organized person on the inside but have learned that we make too big a deal about things being neat. We all live the same way and so the first thing you might want to do is just accept the mess and take that pressure off of you. Invest in some help and then work at keeping it that way the best you can. Work at doing it that with your husband, together.

I know that I could use some help becoming better organized at work and at home.