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I Want to Learn to Stop Hating Myself So Much

Anyone Else Like Me?

By: leftync1128
Written on September 17th, 2011
I'll admit it, I have body-image issues. I'm 5'4" and 130 lbs and I'm the fattest of all my friends and family. I look in the mirror everyday and start to cry because I absolutely can't find anything good about my body. I have extreme diet habits where I'll least at most 400 calories a day (my typical consumption is around 200 though). But when I binge, I binge. I always feel awful about myself and can never seem to get the motivation or energy to do anything socially because I feel like no body likes me. 
I just feel so unhappy and alone here, there's nothing left for me. All of my interests and desires are diluted and it feels like I'm always dragging my feet. When I wake up, I look forward to going back to sleep. What's even the point of being alive if I don't even feel alive?
By: leftync1128
Age: 18-21
148 people have read this story

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4 responses
  • cobweb10
    cobweb10

    I'm like you. I completely understand only looking forward to going to sleep and body image issues. The thing is this is likely a bad phase in your life and more than likely people look at you a lot more positive than you look at you. You'll never be happy restricting everything in your life to meet an unreal standard of beauty. Maybe some fresh and air and exercise would help? When I find myself in a funk, it helps me a little. All i can say, is find something else to focus on, something that makes you happy and keep your eyes on that for now. Your life will change before you know it. The moment you stop looking is when you find it.

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
  • cobweb10
    cobweb10

    I'm like you. I completely understand only looking forward to going to sleep and body image issues. The thing is this is likely a bad phase in your life and more than likely people look at you a lot more positive than you look at you. You'll never be happy restricting everything in your life to meet an unreal standard of beauty. Maybe some fresh and air and exercise would help? When I find myself in a funk, it helps me a little. All i can say, is find something else to focus on, something that makes you happy and keep your eyes on that for now. Your life will change before you know it. The moment you stop looking is when you find it.

    Sep 23, 2012
    1 like
  • hopefulone2
    hopefulone2

    Yes, luv......I feel the same way. I know you wrote your post a long time ago and I am hoping you are hanging in there. The thing that has helped me to hold on is that I'm curious. I would feel like I hadn't read the book all the way to the end if I didn't stick around to see what my life was meant to be. I do understand but don't give up.....

    Jul 4, 2012
    1 like
  • lunadelobos
    lunadelobos

    you need to love YOURSELF first, you sound very ok to me weightwise actually,

    your family/friends may all be UNderweight be , O_O..imho...



    however that' not even the point!



    you do need to consume a proper diet or like you are feeling now, you will have no energy your overall health will suffer and it can end badly.



    Because we do this due to emotinal pain and issues,

    I strongly suggest a good support group, and or councelling.



    you need to boost your self esteem and you will be a happier , confident , more peaceful person.

    when you find self acceptance you will RESONATE happiness and you will not assume people don't want to be with you.

    It will get better but remember you can do it, it's in YOUR hands!!!

    It takes dedication and work, every day of your life.



    PLESE READ THE BOOK "WOMEN, FOOD AND GOD" by GENEED ROTH, I promise you you'll be glad you did dear.



    I think you need to be eating at least 1000 calories a day probably more, i am not a dietician etc.



    Good luck and remember you are #1!!

    Take good care of you!

    Sep 20, 2011
    1 like