People = ****

After I graduated from college, everyone who I thought was my friend vanished.  They didn't move away - they just simply didn't need to acknowledge me anymore.  They still call all the time - but just when they need something.  Help with a project, help with how to accomplish tasks given to them at work because they haven't a clue as to what they're doing, but it wasn't to continue our friendship.


The truth is, of course, is that we were never friends in the first place.  It's just that I got the memo a little late - like the name of that other experience group. 


I can't wait to leave behind all these people who only want to know me because they want something from me, anything, other than actual friendship.


 

Whatever Whatever
26-30, M
6 Responses Oct 21, 2006

i know exactly what you mean :/

I wish you the best of luck. I too, have had my similar issues with friends.

I know how you feel! Once all my friends were done with college and I still had one more semester, they all acted like they didn't remember what it was like to be busy with school, work, and studying. And at the time my mom was ill from breast cancer. I helped take care of her and worked 6 days a week and went to school full time. I was so busy but when I had time I saw them and hung out. I thought they would all understand and be there for me in my difficult time but they weren't. And til this day they still blame me for why I missed out on a lot of things last year because "i was never around". It hurts that people I thought were my friends so quickly abandoned me during my time of need. I would never do that to someone, what they did to me. It's hard to call some people true friends. People can be so awful and self centered.

Season, reason, lifetime...you discovered the reason....now change your direction. Learn that you are a wonderful giving person that people take advantage of because they are shallow and weak. Value yourself enough to decline to assist them without compensation - not friendship. If you are doing them a service then make them pay for it. Confront them with your honesty and grow. This exercise will help you in your career. People only get what they demand with their presence, their demeanor and their actions.<br />
<br />
Don't look for friendship...discover it. A pastor once spoke about why people wanted to be his friend. He would ask them the question. "Why do you want to be my friend? Why do I want to be friends with you?" He said be your own best friend and then you'll discover how everybody is dying to get to know you and hang out with you and do things for you and you'll see... Don't be afraid to say no.

"Ah' pity the fools"! Your realization of the true facts concerning your (former) friend's actual motive(s) for contacting you, has made you stronger. More knowledgeable. The trick is not to let them cause you to become angry.

Boy, have I ever been there! It appears that some of us must attract self-absorbed people or maybe they are just drawn to those of us who appear "useful" to them. Worst thing is if you actually end up married to one of these users.<br />
Got to avoid letting the turkeys get you down. We are very worthwhile people - we just have to be careful and weed out the users from our lives.