Things I'll Do When I'm On My Own

When I’m on my own, I will look forward to the following:

None of my kitchen utensils will be missing or damaged, and I’ll never have to hunt for any of them, they will always live in the same spot, day after day. My glassware will match, and be a full set, as will my forks, spoons and knives, and plates. Nothing will be chipped or cracked because they will be put away with care.

No longer will there be an empty milk or OJ container in the fridge. Leftovers will be eaten rather than thrown away. Curled-up, hard cheese will be a thing of the past in my fridge. The garbage disposal will smell like fresh lemons. There will always be a clean dishtowel hanging on my oven door.

I will leave the top of the kitchen dishsoap in the open position so I can use it without putting my dish down to open the damned thing and squirt the soap out. If it’s a flip-top, I will just rip it off totally. Sponges will be replaced way more frequently.

I will use my French butter dish exclusively – no more hard butter to rip my toast in half.

My towel will always be mine, and won’t have smears of toothpaste or shaving cream residue on them. My nightgown will not be covered up on the doorhook with a wet towel. I will have a basket of nice soaps, lotions, bubble baths, sugar scrubs and other tub potions on the floor next to my bathtub. The tops will always be screwed on tightly. There will not be any stray hairs of any kind on my Dove bar. I will be able to find a bandaid if I need one, as well as hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin. My body lotions, face creams and handlotions will not mysteriously disappear or all of a sudden be half empty.

I will always have quarters in my spare change jar, pens, pencils and paper near the phone. I will not have to hunt for scotch tape, scissors, the stapler or glue. Pencils will have points and erasers will not be chewed off, pens will work or be thrown out. I will always be able to grab the right pen for the right job, including a Sharpie . All my art supplies and sewing stuff will be safe and sound . All envelopes from the opened mail will be tucked away for grocery lists rather than piled on the table with the junk mail that came in them.

My dog will always have a full bowl of water. But if she runs out, I will always leave the toilet seat up for her.

I will have one phone charger next to my bed, and one in the living room or kitchen, never to be relocated, borrowed, or otherwise misplaced. My laptop won’t be compromised or spilled on. The screen will be clean and unblemished. ESPN, Jersey Shore, Spike, MTV, golf and Fox News will all be deleted on my TV channels. The TV will not be on when I come home from work, and my doors will have been locked all day and my home secure. My home will always smell good because of candles, incense or aromatic oils. I will no longer choke on Axe or other cheap cologne, aerosol deodorant or footsprays.

No inferior toilet paper, paper towels, paper napkins, or bargain-brand laundry detergent will ever enter my home. I will not find forks, gum, candy wrappers, popcorn or used Kleenex under my sofa cushions. I will use disinfectant wipes on my counters as often as I like.

I will occasionally burp like a truckdriver .

I will sing outloud often.

A good bottle of red wine will never go wasted.

I will nap uninterrupted on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. On a rainy weekend, I’ll watch all the shows I like On Demand. I might even watch an entire season.

I’ll sit in my living room and catch up on the phone with old friends and not have to be interrupted or have the TV blaring.

I will be surrounded by familiar and cherished items I grew up with, and use them all the time. The tick-tock of my two antique clocks will lull me to sleep every evening. I will be surrounded by good art. I will rearrange my furniture on a whim, and move my art around as I buy more. Leaving unfinished painting projects and other crafts out overnight on my kitchen table will make me smile the next morning.

I won’t walk on eggshells when I get home, wondering who will be in a lousy mood. The sound of glass beer bottles dropping into the recycling bin at midnight won’t wake me up. I will smell fresh air coming through my window at night rather than cigarette smoke.
I will turn off the thermostat and leave the windows open. If it gets cool, I will use my blankets. If it’s too warm, I will put my hair up and turn the ceiling fan up a notch.

The front walk light will burn all night because it doesn’t bother me that it’s on through the window while I watch TV.

I will volunteer LOTS of time for a worthy cause that is close to my heart without having someone's eyes rolling at me and complaining that I should spend that time doing laundry and other chores.

Overall, I will strive to get to know myself better, my friends better, and make time for me.
vabrunette vabrunette
46-50, F
5 Responses May 15, 2012

Not all men would rain on your parade. I am exceedingly aware of how my wife lives and I don't watch any of the inane TV shows you mentioned. There kind, sensitive, aware, mindful men out there... and I ought to know... I'm one 'em ;-)

Your wonderful potential merits opportunity. May this happen for you?

Sounds like you have a very clear vision, my dear. When does operation life reclamation commence? <br />
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In all seriousness, I suspect there are a lot more things you will not miss, and others you will enjoy. Good luck to you with making it happen.

What's the old saying, "plan your work, work your plan" have you got a start date ??

The last sentence says it all.