After 14 Years I'm More Sick Than My Husband

Came here looking some insight on how to end this relationship. Once again, I was called horrible names for hours thru the nite. Then he acts like I said or did something to bring it on. We have been together for 16 years and he is truly a Jeckle/Hyde personality when drinking, which he does every day. I have tried to throw him out but he refuses to leave! I would leave but the house we live in is owned by my family. The car is in my name and he continues to drive drunk. He filed and won a disability case which now gives him money and 24/7 to drink. How do I make him move out? When he spends hours screaming at me and calling me vile names, I get so upset I have come close to striking him..here it is a beautiful, sunny day outside and I have all the windows down for fear he will wake up and start again and I don't want the neighbors to hear. :-(

Everything you said is so true, and it sounds like what my inner voice had been telling me for such a long time...I finally left him about 7 months ago, and damn it is hard, but so worth it...I am becoming me again and I will never let anyone bring me down that low again.

im leaving my husband as ive said before he thought i was not serious we argued a little bit a little while ago he said he knows he effed up but that hes gonna stop man if i had a nickel..... he said why do i want to make him depressed i told him he can get depressed if he wants im not the keeping him alive i dont tell him to drink he likes to blame me for everything if he hasnt stopped by now he never will 24 years ive wasted my life with him how did i do it i dont know all i know is im so done he depends on me too much i feel like hes 3 yrs old well i have to see him moping around till i leave that should be fun

I have been married this year 14 years. I married a sober alcoholic. For 21 years sober then 7 years ago he started drinking. 5 of the past years pretty heavy. He's never been a very nice easy going guy, but always loved me. Now he's very mean, cutting, nasty, hateful, lying, all of it... I am ready to leave.. I've begged him to stop, he wont, he doesnt want to. Hes 70 years old a diabetic, insulin dependent, his mother died of alcoholism.. I need someone to talk to... I am much younger and feel I still have a life to live but feel so responsible. Any suggestions.

How these stories coincide with mine, jekyll and hyde describe it completely. I hate one of them and wish he would die and then the other one reappears and i get all hopefull cos he says he really hates him too and wants to change. I realise that its a physical addiction so choice does'nt come into it, but he's destroying our perfectly fine life. How i wish he would accept what he has to do to change.Unfortunately he'

s a know it all and can argue black white to defend his first love - alcohol

I have been with an alcoholic for thirteen years. We have three kids together but never married because I never pushed it. He has been married twice and we always had so many issues I was afraid to marry him. Now I am a stay at home mom and he just lost his job. We are ok financially for now but he is home all day and goes out at about 2pm almost daily to go to the bar. I am so afraid when I get the kids from school and he is not home yet. I know he is still at the bar. I feel so stuck, not having a job-even though I had a major career before kids-and no money to get a start on my own. In the past I have even tried to get him to move out, but he won't, he won't leave the kids, even though he does not give them much quality time and is sort of verbally abusive. The other night he even slapped our seven year old on the back really hard because she spilled something on the floor on purpose, he said.

We go through stages too, where I think it will be ok, and I pray and pray, but then it is not again. It is not ok. I am so fed up with this crap and have no place to go. It's time for a plan. Again.

I have been married to my husband for 2 years. He is hammered every night although his anger only shows a moderate portion of the time. i have become a mother figure. half the time i make dinner and take it to him in bed. i get in trouble if i forget to bring something for him to drink during the night when he wakes up to smoke. We have so many burn holes in our bed clothes because he is drunk when he wakes up to smoke in the middle of the night. one time i acutally woke up to the blanket smoldering on top of me. He can be so caring and loving and he's become so dependent on me i feel so guilty leaving him but he's 10 years older than me and i feel like i deserve more. does the guilt go away? how do i leave? in my heart mind and soul i'm already gone but physically leaving is making me nervous. I cannot help him. he asked me how i was going to fix him, me us because thats what i do is fix things for him. I can't this time. My advice to anyone out there is to try and try but when you get to the point that you resent him for stripping you of everything you ever were its time to go and thats where i am. good luck to all of you out there dealing with this.

I've been married to an alcoholic for 11 years. He will stop drinking for months at a time but eventually he begins again. We have the same conversations over and over through the years but he says I just "bring up the past". I tell him it's not the past when it's currently happening again. This time he stopped drinking for 8 months. Last week I began to notice the signs and when confronted he denied drinking. He will finally admit to having 1 night of drinks but it is still a lie. The point is, he doesn't see how serious this is because nothing bad happened from it. I finally realize this is how my life will always be & I don't want to stay with him. I have to kids, a mortgage and no options...how do I get the strength to leave when I already feel so defeated.

I am marrie to an lcoholic and i have a 9 year old daughter. I am in the same situation as you are. To leave him or not? Its been 5 years and i am losing the battle. He stays sober for 3 days, and its almost too good and then we go down. Seesaw, and its playing havoc on my stress levels. It feels like i am walking on glass all the time, never knowing what will be the trigger point. But no matter what i do or dont, i realise he wont change unless he wants to.



Now, i am all set to leave him.....the only thing holding me back is my daughter, who i know loves him so much and i feel guilty depriving her o that. Though heart of hearts i know she's better off without him, i am unable to break away.



I am so confused.

I am marrie to an lcoholic and i have a 9 year old daughter. I am in the same situation as you are. To leave him or not? Its been 5 years and i am losing the battle. He stays sober for 3 days, and its almost too good and then we go down. Seesaw, and its playing havoc on my stress levels. It feels like i am walking on glass all the time, never knowing what will be the trigger point. But no matter what i do or dont, i realise he wont change unless he wants to.



Now, i am all set to leave him.....the only thing holding me back is my daughter, who i know loves him so much and i feel guilty depriving her o that. Though heart of hearts i know she's better off without him, i am unable to break away.



I am so confused.

It's true that living with anyone who is alcohol and/or drug dependent when you aren't can indeed make you ill. I too know this from personal experience, having recently extricated myself from a difficult relationship. Despite his "giving up" the booze he (unbeknown to me) replaced his addiction with an alternative. He always will. He's been like this for too long and doesn't know what a real feeling is. He used to say he'd end up with his own park bench if he was lucky. I was so sure I could make him realise that his life didn't have to be like that I spent 6 years of my life giving him love, security and reassurance. I nearly lost my own mind doing it. It's hard to say goodbye to someone you care about but when that person is destroying you as well as themselves something has to be done. I hadn't relised how isolated I'd become because of him. Now I'm a free woman I've regained something I thought was gone forever - self-respect.