I Want To Leave My Boyfriend But I Still Love Him

ok let me start by saying im very young im 18 years old and i have lived with my boyfriend since i was 16 because my mother kicked me out because she didnt approve of my relationship. I want to tell you guys a little bit about my relationship. I have known my BF since i was 13, started dating when i was 15 so officially we have been together for 3 years i lost my virginity to him, he is 3 years older than me so he is 21. He has helped me get trough high school by supporting me financially.
But our relationship has always been bumpy, he is always been jelous i think its because he has some insecurities about his weight, so i noticed that he always tries to make me feel less than him or like if nobody is going to love me like he does.  But he is constantly calling me names he is very lazzy he doesnt want to do anything for himself just because he works, he currently lost his job so he is unemployed and he has gotten lazier. he has been physical violent before to the point that the cops were involve but that has been over a year in a half. so im so confuse about everything because i know deep down inside he is a nice guy and i dont want to hurt him and i still love him but i dont think its right for me to be with him. I have left him before and i have came back because he promises to change i know every couple have problems so i thats why i stay. Theres time when he can be a total sweetheart though so thats why i feel confuse he treats me so good one day and the next day he is all bossy and mean ad grouchy. I just think we are to young to be leaving together. we stay at his moms house and he rents a room. He is a hgh school drop out. He rarely let me visit my family because they live 2 hours away and because he doesnt get along wiht my mom he always talk bad about my mom and denies me the right to go see them.

I just recently visited my mom after six months and she told me i could move in with her she would lend me money to buy a car and so i can start looking for a job and start going to college, I know if i move in with my mom i would have better support to go to collge. But i now if i move back with my mom my BF is going to think im just leaving him for materials things because my mom is wealthy so i dont know what to do but i know if i move in with my mom i would be able to afford college and if i stay wiht him i wont be able to pursue my dream career and besides im just tired of being told what to do and not what to do i want to feel free i feel like i am in a cage for the last 2 years of my life that i have lived with him but i know i love him and if i leave its going to hurt me and im afraid of coming back to him because im going to feel bad for him  !!!!!
newlifeme newlifeme
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 28, 2010

Oh my gosh, i know just how you feel! What did you end up doing. I have no advice. I'm stuck in the same situation and no matter how often i try to leave, i'm not stron enough.