It's Not That Hes Abusive...

I feel like an idiot on this site. But really I have no where to turn to for advice. Okay to be honest I want support. Support from other people telling me its okay to leave my husband. Let me begin with the story I guess...

My husband and I got married in March of this year. LOL I know it has not been a long marriage but we have been together 6 years. 6 years is not a long time to most people but for me it seems like forever. It started out like most normal relationships... We had fun, he was great and romantic and blah blah blah.... For the first year.

But then he started changing. And I can honestly say I think I am obsessed with him. I have tried many times to leave him but all it takes is one look at him, or one little "please" from him to make me take him back. I seem pathetic right?

There are many reasons why I want to leave him.

1. He cant keep a job. He is lazy. He doesnt do ANYTHING around the house unless I turn on superbitch mode and demand it from him.
2. He doesnt support me in ANYTHING. (I am overweight and have been trying to lose weight for YEARS. He doesnt understand that he cant being me fast foods or snacks everyday. He doesnt understand HOW to support me.)
3. He has an addiction to ****. I get that most men like ****, but i HATE it. I guess me being overweight is the reason for that. Why would I be comfortable with my husband watching skinny sexy girls online?
4. He is not a very good father. Dont get me wrong, hes not all bad but when hes watching her he forgets to change her and when I pick her up after I get home shes SOAKED through her clothes. When someone comes over (my mom or sisters) he just gives her to them and goes back to playing his playstation.
5. He LIES constantly... There isnt ONE day that goes by that he is not lieing to me. About anything and everything, even stupid little things.

There are lots of reasons I want to leave him. I think the main one is # 2. There are just so many things he doesnt support me on. Weight loss, going back to college, parenting views.

BUT I CANT LEAVE HIM. I want to so bad and I know my life would be so much better without him in it but, to be completely honest, I think I am so used to him around that I dont want him gone... But I DO want him gone. I just dont want to be alone.

Does anyone understand me at all?? If so, please spare some advice.
princessdreams89 princessdreams89
18-21, F
Jul 30, 2010