There's The Door

Ok here it goes.....I have been married almost 15 years, been together 21 total.  Eeeak that is a long time!  He was my first, yep first serious relationship, first guy I slept with.  Now I wasn't in my teens I was 22 years old.  Anyway, we fell in love and eventually got married and had kids.

Now somewhere as time went on we just fell out of love.  We love each other but we are not "in love" with each other.  We are more like roommates now, which is strange to say, but it is what it is.  We don't sleep in the same bed and we basically live somewhat separate lifes to a degree.  He is a wonderful father and can be a good provider most of the time.  He has brought the subject of divorce up before but it never went anywhere.  Well he ended up meeting someone online and to be honest it didnt bother me.  Eventually I also met someone online.  I didn't go out looking for someone, it just kind of happened.  We know that we are happy with our other partners and we know that our marriage is basically over.  I plan on having a life with the person that I met and I have expressed this to my husband.  He too has the same plans, or so he says.

The part that makes everything difficult is financially we cannot afford to get a divorce as we both got laid off from our respected jobs and have not been able to get another.  I spoke with an attorney to see if our state will allow a divorce with out the standard separation due to the financial status and it does.  But it is getting hard because I feel the need to start my life without him. 

I have already taken certain steps, i.e. separate bank accounts, building my own credit, etc.  I am ready to move on.  But he seems to be just happy the way it is, coming and going as he pleases.  How do I approach him and say " you need to start making plans to move out and start your life"?

Any advice or words of wisdom?
AmiLynn AmiLynn
41-45, F
Aug 5, 2010