Original Plan Was To Wait Until 2014...i Dont Think I'm Going To LastI've read several of these stories and knowing other women are in similar situations helps me cope. We just had our 8th anniversary (notice I stayed away from the word "celebrated ") The past 4 yrs have been challenging emotionally, physically and mentally. Let me be clear physically is from the standpoint of affection not because he hits me. He has approached me once and I told him he'd better kill me because if he touched me he would know he had been in a fight. My brothers taught me how to defend myself.
Lately he is working my nerves more frequently and I know that life has more to offer more than what he's giving me. I'm tired of journaling I cant deal with another therapist I'm at the point where I need to take action. I've asked myself why I haven't just left and the only reason is because I'm concerned about his well-being. His salary is significantly less than mine so he wouldn't be able to afford his own benefits and he doesn't contribute to his 401k plan. If I'm stupid for allowing this to be the reason Im holding on feel free to tell me.
He upset me this morning to the point I decided I needed a mental health day to get my thoughts together. My husband has given the most/best im going to get from him and it'sjust not enough for me. Im not looking to jump into another relationship and I'm thankful there is no one else in the picture right now to cloud my thoughts. I need to tell him today it's over but I know I will probably loose my nerve like I always do.
I'm open to any tips on how to deal with this now rather than later.
He's a good person he just sucks as a husband and he tries to please everyone but me.
inthedark2012 46-50, F 4 Responses 1 Aug 7, 2012