I Don't Have Any Reasoning
My story is a little different than most because, well, I want to leave my husband, but I'm afraid that I don't have significant enough reasoning. We just had our 3rd anniversary last month, and I felt like crying all week. We have had multiple reasons in the past for us to split, but we've just stayed together and moved past them. About 3 months after we were married, we started fighting constantly, and I left for about a week to clear my head. I couldn't stand to be near him. While I was gone, I cheated. At that point I knew I had made a mistake, getting married. I felt no guilt. Mainly because he didn't do a thing to see how I was while I was gone, or when or if I was ever coming back. I went back to get my things, and we ended up talking and I stayed. A few months later, I found out that I was pregnant. That was when I felt guilt about cheating and I told him. He forgave me and we moved past it. Throughout my entire pregnancy, we were completely happy. Nothing could tear us apart. After I had my son, we began fighting non-stop again. This time he told me I needed to see a Dr. and get on meds because I was angry and hard to handle. So I did. Within 2 months of me seeing my Dr. and recieving medicine for ADD, he started stealing my medicine. We fought, and fought about it, and he continued to take it. When I tried to talk to him about it, he would ignore me or say I was being ridiculous. (His mom has the same problem, stealing medicine from whomever she can get it from) I tried to get him to see a counselor, or us both go, and he said he didn't need it. Still refuses to this day. He would lie right to my face about taking it. I found out that he had been hiding money and buying perscription pills every since we had been married, and who knows how long he had been buying them before we were married. He eventually quit stealing my medicine when I went and told all of his family what he was doing in hopes they would help me, help him. I recieved no help. Not one person even talked to him about it. (Just as they do his mother) Now we have seperate bank accounts because he got tired of me constantly asking why he was taking money out. He never said that was the reason why, but I know it was. He's much happier with us having seperate accounts, he tells me so atleast once a week. Every since I had my son, I can barely stand the sight of him. He almost sickens me. I don't know if it's the lack of trust that I have for him, or if it's the comments he makes to me. I recently told him that I didn't want to be married anymore, and he told me to suck it up and deal with it. That I made a decision and I have to live with it because there was no reason for us to split up. When I mention counseling, I try to tell him that I want us to do it because it is important to help our marriage, and he will tell me no, that it's not that important. When I told him that I wanted to not be married anymore, he told me that I couldn't live without him because I have nothing without him supporting me. I honestly don't care. I have my mom's support because I have talked with her about this. I just don't understand. I want to have a healtly, happy marriage. I know it won't be happy all of the time, and I can handle that. I just don't want to almost hate the person I'm supposed to love so much. My worry with leaving him, is all of the trouble his family will give me. His brother's wife, cheated and divorced him and the family gave her such a hard time, and still do(behind her back anyways). I don't want that because we do have a child together. I am completely unhappy, and I would rather be alone. I just don't know how to get that through his head. He says I have no reason to leave, so therefore I can't. I know it would be hard at first, but I could make it. I just want someone to tell me if I'm being stupid, or if it's ok to want to be happy.