Advice Please!!

Please help me! I just had my 2 year wedding anniversary on Nov. 6th 2012. My husband is a fairly decent man. He has OCD and tends to get too deep in some subject or another. He also has OCD and has a horrible allergy to Posion Ivy- so you can imagine. Basically both his legs are covered in black deep scars from him picking way past the time the itch and posion were gone. It's not a superficial thing. I don't care about his picking or his scars, that's just background.

My husband is also an alcoholic. He drinks for the sheer sake of drinking. I do too, so I guess we are co dependent. THANK the lord we have no children yet. But I see my drinking as a general thing, I can quit and have in the past. He drinks way overboard when he does, but I do too, so I feel I can't judge him.

But I just want to stop it all. Stop the madness. I am really unhappy. I think on the whole we really love each other and we have been thru a lot. I think we can create a happy home if we both try.

I am unsure if he wants to try. I mean - he OVER indulges in everything. It's actually disgusting. He really has already ruined his body (which used to be nice) in less than 2 years. His stomach looks like a cracked boiled egg, you know when you boil one too long and it splits all over? Only it's all pink and purple and stretched beyond all limits. I think he has some serious self control issues. I cannot even help him in that area.

As background, his grandma had OCD so bad. She was a wonderful person too, but she picked this little sore on her toe and over ate so much she was eventually in a wheelchair. Then WHAM! She had to have her foot amputated, then her leg.

So this problem he has is definely hereditary. It's in his DNA make up. I see it alllllllll over his mom and sister too. Although they aren't necessarlily overweight, just really crazy.

Please help me. I love my husband but he is a pig. He really has some unnattractive traits and I know it can only get worse.

I will take any advice. I am desperate. I am young. Still thin, still pretty. I have a finance degree and background. My career as a Finanical Analyst is not helping me as I look at just the facts. I am afraid I am wasting my time with him.

Oh and to make the matters even MORE awful- my father suddenly passed away in Feb 2012. So that means my mother and father scrimped and saved to give us our dream wedding and now I have an enormous amount of GUILT thinking that ONE- I cannot even ask my Daddy what he thinks of this situation and TWO - I am leaving my widowed mother with a huge hole in her bank account when she could really use it.

Pleas help me ladies and gentlemen.
posey8683 posey8683
4 Responses Nov 7, 2012

Holy Cow! Don't run, sprint out as soon as possible!
No kids... GOOD!!!!
Read your post again.
Is this what you would want for your Mother or Daughter? Why in the world would you want it for you?
It won't get better.
SPRINT young lady. SPRINT out quick.
Best to you.

Thanks for the support and advice. I do pray but mostly I say what I am thankful for and how I am lucky for my life and then ask forgiveness for my sins. I never think to ask God for anything because I feel like he has given me a lot already.

I think I should pray that he heals my husband from his picking habits and helps us to drink less and be stronger against temptation.

My husband and I have been dating on and off since 2000. We are still in love with each other but we just need to get our act together a bit more. I am really greatful for that. I read some of the other women's posts about how they don't even love their man. I am sad for you guys. Love is so special.

He has started running since I posted this last! I think he will stick to it because we just planned a big trip to Rome, Italy for Christmas and he says that is a big motivator. Just today he asked me if I could help him clean the garage so he could set up some work out equipment. Boy will I!

I am glad there are forums like this for people to get their feelings out there and get advice and support!

As for the drinking, I'd suggest couples therapy or AA. As for him being a pig, you should talk to him about how you feel as though he doesn't care about you when he lets himself go like that. Medical condition or not, over-eating and picking at scabs is disgusting. If he can't give up either, I'd say move on to something better. You don't need someone perfect, but you do deserve someone who cares enough about you to want to make themselves look nice for you.

You thanked the Lord that you do not have children but can't you pray unto Him to get the things right in your life ?

I mean that your husband may be healed and your crises may be resolved....I do understands your circumstance and can imagine how bad you may be feeling under all this but still would i say that if you believe on the Lord , then lay your petitions to Him with faith.

Surely your problems will be over. .....If you love him, then you should do this.....