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How Do You Know When The Time Is Right...?

I've just found this site and have spent a few hours reading and can't believe how many people are living with these issues.

A little background...I've been married for 16 years now...it's a similar story to most folks on here...I think we've grown apart over the last few years as we've got busy with careers and children; our needs and desires don't seem to be aligned. He's not able to give me what I need in a relationship; he doesn't understand my need for intimacy, a loving connection, a partnership.

I try and imagine my life over the next 5, 10, 15 years and frankly, it scares me to imagine more of the same. We've got 2 kids who are teenagers and simply, they're the only thing that's really keeping me in the marriage.

So...my question to you all is..how do you know when is the right time to leave? Was there a tipping point or just a realization that nothing will ever truly change?

How do I minimize collateral damage whilst trying to be true to myself in my relationship?

Thanks for reading!
deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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I've been looking for the right time too, when I think I'm ready, something comes up to make me stay, but now I know it's not getting better and it never will, like you I also think about the future and see dreadful things, we need to just do it when we know there is no other hope for our marriages, a chance at happiness is worth leaving, when there is no happiness in the marriage.

I don't know the answer
I've been waiting for the right moment for years.. Staying for the kids, even wrote him a letter exPlaining my feelings and how I hoped it all would go. I still haven't found the right time.
The thought of the process makes my stomach turn. I hope you find the strength and the moment you need:)