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..19...married..and Pregnant And Scared

my husband and i got married in july and i am pregnant with his child... the violence has increased from him and he just leaves and doesnt say anything..he takes our money he is really controlling.. he will leave me to find my own way home and he probably is cheating on me again.. i want to leave but i have no family to help me and now a baby due in aug..i dont make much money at my job.. i feel so trapped and i dont know what to do.
canttellforsafety canttellforsafety 18-21 5 Responses Dec 31, 2012

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Oh my, do as suggested below! There is healthy help for you AND YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!

He will never change and he will teach your child these behaviors. No worry about divorce, that is far off and will happen at a healthier state of mind. Get some balance please for you and your babys sake. It feels your tension and you deserve to nurture yourself during this time instead of trembling in fear! God bless!

Yes, go to a battered women's shelter. They will help you with additional resources (food stamps, government housing, usually even clothes & a different job/educational opportunities). The violence will only get worse, especially once the baby comes. I was 33 yrs old when I had my first kid with my husband (who is not an violent man) but for a couple who never really argued but the stress of having a child has really made us argue A LOT more since she has been born. Having a child is wonderful (you will love it more than you thought possible) but can be extremely hard on even the best relationships. With a relationship that is already problematic it will get even worse, & lord help his anger issues with the baby. Please get out now. His abuse could jeopardize the health of your baby & your own. There are various ways the women's shelter can help you. Just reach out. If you don't know how to find one, call your local health department (where you can also apply for WIC--food for you & the baby, they should have the number). So off the top of my head, you should be eligible for WIC, food stamps, government housing & possible insurance. The women's shelter could let you know of other things available in your area. Also talk to the women's shelter about filing an order of protection for you & your baby against your spouse. There should also be free legal aid available to you in your area where you can speak to an attorney about custody arrangements & child support---I would find out about supervised visitation only with the baby due to his anger management issues. **Also, make sure every time you use your computer that you clear the history, you DO NOT want him getting on the computer & figuring out you are thinking about leaving him. Good luck & God Bless! :)

Hi, I don't know if this is something you would be interested in but please read my profile and let me know what you think..we may can help you. Julie

I totally agree with Imtnmn. There are many local agencies that help teen mothers who are in trouble. Just reach out, please! Do a Google search. That is the first and often the hardest step to take.....asking for help and then ACCEPTING the help that is offered.
I know about these types of relationships because I lived one as a teenager (I am 35 now). I didn't have to worry about a baby though. I was in a very abusive relationship. I still have the scars to remind me:)
You HAVE to find some inner strength somehow, somewhere. For your unborn child and for your future. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, trust me. If you stay in this relationship, you will die. Maybe not literally, but sooner or later you will wake up and not even know who you are any more. Nothing will make you happy. Your fire, the same fire that lies within all of us, will smolder and eventually go out all together.
If you have family or friends, please don't be silent any longer.

You need to go to a battered womens shelter, immediately. Contact your local police station to find one or department of family services.

Leave this relationship and never go back, it will NOT get better. Not ever. He doesn't love you, he loves the power and control he has over you.

Don't worry about the money, it will work out and they may be able to help you get on your feet. If you don't do this for yourself you owe it to your child to be.