ConfusedI am 25 years old and have been married to my husband for five years. We dated for about 9 months before he proposed, and were married about 4 months later. We have no children. We started out infatuated and definitely had a case of puppy love... Unfortunately I feel he misrepresented himself to me from the start. I was raised in an extremely strict religious home, lived at home until my wedding day. I was a virgin up until about 2 months before our wedding. He was also a virgin. I was innocent as a lamb never drank, smoked or anything like that, in fact I was a Sunday school teacher!!! Hubby and I were in college and decided to marry rather than wait because we felt like we were so happy together why would we put off what makes us happy and live apart and possibly lose touch date other people and lose each other for good?? Sounds good right? Well, after about 2 weeks of being married, I was put on his back burner. He spent the majority of his time with with his friends or doing hobbies like reloading ammunition (into hunting). I was always invited to hang out with the boys but if I didn't want to go I was not missed and never were my requests for dates or alone time taken seriously he always makes me feel like i am needy and unreasonable. He seemed to feel like weekend mornings (if that he sleeps till 12) should be enough and I was a nagging little *****. Fast forward five years he put me through dental hygiene school and now I am working to put him through school. He says he wants to be a dentist but is wishy washy when it comes to motivation, he has failed classes required to enter school and has to retake them. He worked 7 days a week for about 4 months while I was in school purely because he wanted to and never ceases to hold this over my head, I work 50 hours or so a week and make double what he made at the time. He still hangs out with friends more than me and speaks to me with contempt (yells, degrades) when I do get any attention, he is in essence, a self absorbed *****. I am frustrated with his behavior and feel so relieved that we don't have children at this point because I can guarantee that I would be akin to a single mom while he ran around drinking, Workin out and playin Xbox with his little friends. I feel like I am a successful professional and am doubtful whether he has what it takes to succeed in his goals. We rarely have sex (around 3-4 time a month) and are not particularly interested in each other. I feel bored an alone and trapped. Judgement from family, friends, and possibly losing someone who may have been the best there was for me is a little terrifying. I feel like I can't talk to people about this, I've briefly touched on it with my mom but she loves him (he pretends to dote on me around my parents). We look happy to family but fronds have seen the underlying problems. I would be financially fine if i left him but after so much time should I? He doesn't make me happy and always says it wouldn't matter what he did , I still wouldn't be happy because I am a sad loner pessimistic person.
An EP User 2 Responses 0 Jan 10, 2013