Here is the thing. I have been married for 21years and with my husband since 16. I have stayed in the relationship because I love him and we have 4 children. However I have wanted to leave for years after living with alot of neglect and cruellty I am sick of putting on an act to keep everyone happy and I know the grass is only greener if you water and tend it. We both have neglected each others needs and only habit has kept us together as neither of us wants to make any effort with each other which all makes for alot of anger and unhappiness. I have my own business and have been financially and emotionally independant for years so I have nothing to tie me to him except our children and the last one leaves home this autumn. I have always and will always love him deeply but I cant live such a sterile existance forever as he has no love or respect for who I am and treats me no better than a dog. I feel for my own sense of self it is time coming when I want to walk alone and not have his needs thrown at me all the time because I am starting to realise that I have needs too and he has no interest in them. I love life and the longer I am with him the more that i worry he will drag me into despair only because he can and I no longer want to be in that position. I don't have the energy to play a blame game and accept my own resposibility in this failed relationship but I do want to live life to the full and enjoy being in each moment. I have always put my heart and soul into trying to make the effort all partnerships need but it has never been mutual and I am fast running out of energy for the both of us.