I Love Him So Much, But Is That Enough???

I have been married to my husband for 14 years. He is a selfish person, who treats strangers better than his wife. I have been dealing with this mess because I do love him (sounds like a Jerry Springer show lol) and don't want to be the selfish person and walk out. But I have recently been doing some soul searching, and I'm tired of being put on the back burner for his family and friends. I'm so empty inside, I was willing to spend the rest of my life with this person I thought loved and adored me. But he is so far from what I thought. He is a liar, a cheat, and a horrible father. I can't do this to my son anymore. my 8 year old is my whole life and being around somebody that is so rude and inconsiderate makes me feel like i'm also the bad parent.

We own our home and I think I'm just afraid of losing everything i worked so hard for. I'm so depressed. please help

myissues myissues
6 Responses Aug 5, 2009

I am in the same boat and totally understand you! Can u help me by telling me if there are souport groups? I live in Toronto? Where abouts are you?
Pls feel free to e mail me I would love to hear from you?

I think the best person to read on EP is Modlulu, here is one of her stories that would apply here: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Need-To-Decide-If-Ill-Stay-In-My-Marriage/1614258 . I would suggest reading at least a few of her entries on marriage because they are all very insightful, I am trying to read all of them now.

I am in the same situation. My husband seems to care more about himself and others more than his family. He cheats and lies about everything. He has destroyed my career which has left me with no financial means to support my children on my own. I think he did this so I have to feel like I have nowhere to go but with him. He loves playing 40k and will talk more to them in the 10 to 12 hours he is there more than us in 2 weeks. He has made me feel useless and unwanted. He sees nothing he has done as wrong. He pays for escorts and gets waitress' numbers. If I'm not standing next to him he thinks he is single. He even checks out and flirts with other women in front of me. I have a bad attitude all the time now because I am so unhappy. He is not a good person and doesn't pay any attention to our children. I need to leave and don't know how.

I'm in the same situation. I love him but he doesn't give a damn about me. Has his flings runs after anything with a skirt and is so selfish! Anyway, problems are: can we afford to live alone with two kids?<br />
Can We/ i get motivated enough to pack up and move out?<br />
Will my prayers be answered and he'll realize how awful he treats me?<br />
And if We ever meet someone else will he be just as bad as our husbands but in different ways?

Girls I am right there with u! What do we do???? I know God didn't promise us happiness in this life, but, he did promise us happiness in the after life, and that we can trust for sure. Is this our penance? Should we just take it and move on for our kids? I love my children more then him and I feel terribly horrible for that. Help?

Sorry to hear about your situation. I am going through the same thing. been in a marriage for 18 years. i thought was quite happy. only to find out last year that he has been having affiars behind my back for years.<br />
Plus he is an alcholic. (sad i was willing to accept the alcholic) <br />
once you find out about a persons dark side its really hard to trust them again. or even see them the same way. <br />
I had brain surgery for a brain tumor. i could of died, but i didn't this made me have a true appreciation of life and what really matters. its not the stuff we have but its the people in our lives that make a difference. <br />
so you and i can choose to forgive our husbands and always be hurt by them or be strong enough to stand on our own and leave them. I really do not think God wants us to suffer in a relatonship..<br />
I also have two sons that mean the world to me. I don't want to hurt them but it really isn't doing anyone any good by staying in this distructive relationship. everyone has checked out...... .