I'm To Willing To Help.
I fell in love with my 2nd husband the first time I saw him. I was married at the time. I didn't do anything about it until after I divorced my 1st husband.
My 1st husband is an alcoholic and drug abuser. He also has a personality disorder. He was very needy and for years I just wanted to help him and make things better. I tried until I thought I was going to loose my mind. Seriously, I was making myself mentally ill trying not to give up but I was lonely and so unhappy. I finally left him.
Very soon after I started dating my 2nd husband. He was broke and divorced with four children. I was there for him. I wanted to help. I supported the family the best I could because he was paying a boat load of child support and I knew he couldn't afford to do much.
He took and still takes total advantage of that. Our kids are grown and he makes 12,000 more a year than I do but I'm the one carrying the heaviest load. I've shown him how much I am paying and he gets irritated with me. After 10 years of marriage we have separate checking accounts. It's not so much the money as it is that I am so stressed over bills and he does nothing to help.
Now his father lives with us. He has dementia. I again want to do everything I can to help. It makes me feel good and it's family that's what you should do correct. He lets me do it all. He spends little or no time with his father and gets irritated with his needs. This has tells me that if I ever get sick he won't be there for me.
He has four kids that he says he loves dearly but he never calls them. He doesn't support them physically or mentally. They are grown now but over the years I can tel you those kids grew up fatherless.
It seems anything that takes time or energy is not worth the effort. He wants to sit back and allow others to handle life and the energy it takes to deal with it.
I keep going after people who are needy. I've been like this with friends and family all my life. It took me years to figure out I'm the one putting myself through all my difficulties because I'm always looking to help people. If you're in need you soon become my life and my best friend.
Thank God my 2nd husnband and I didn't have children. We have a house we own together. I need to sell this house because I want to leave but I want to leave with as little to argue about as possible. Plus neither on of us can afford to pay for the house on our own.
I don't want to be someones main support system anymore. I feel that I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of all my life. I so want to be there for people but I keep meeting people who suck the life out of me and give nothing in return.
Anyways I needed to tell someone and talk. I need someone to lean on because I'm very tired and need to rest.