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I Need A New Life

I have been with my husband for 15 years, the first few years where really good but now it is just awful.

It's so hard to explain, my husband isn't nasty, he doesn't yell or treat me badly, he doesn't question my spending infact he is a near perfect partner but I can't stand him.

We have lived in the same small town, which I hate, for the duration of our relationship and I've always wanted something more. I had a minor break down 8 years ago, my brother was killed in a car accident and I'd just had our daughter not long after. I was devastated... he just didn't/doesn't seem to understand why I was so upset and low.

He then turned down a job offer in my home town and things have been going down hill since then. There have been more job offers and he has not taken one, I think he likes me friendless and dependant on him for all my emotional needs.

I have been diagnosed with major depression and never leave the house. Im not healthy.

I want, no, I need to leave but I have no where to go, I came from a very violent family situation and my mother and sisters don't think my reasons for ending it all are worthy, I guess I sort of feel that way too.

Maybe I just need someone to tell me I have every right to feel this way. I don't want to waste anymore of my life.I need your advice and to hear stories with positive outcomes.

Thankyou for reading my story.

 

imogensface imogensface 31-35, F 10 Responses Oct 22, 2009

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awwww..........depression hurts........

Hello
I've been married 11 years now but unhappy for about 4 of them ... my husband just won't show any affection. He hates if I spend money on my child or myself and moans about what i spend on food - and I shop at discount stores. Ironically I earn more than him despite only working part time. I am sick and tired of it but can't afford to leave untill I get a full time job which I won't do till I've finished my Uni course....I am trying very hard to be positive and live life as best i can given his refusal to show me or my child any affection. (I have other stories on here which will give you a fuller picture)
I have a 5 year plan...get out of debt and get a job and then I can leave...(he ran up the debts when he was out of work and if I'm honest before that when he was being dishonest and telling me he was paying off debt whilst ordering sack loads of comic books and general books and music CD's) He's lied throughout our relationship. But at least now I feel that I stand a chance of escaping....albeit in 5 years time. Bring it on!!

In the mean time I'm determined to be as happy as I can be...and get myself in better health ready for the escape.
xxx

I also feel that way but un like you i have a husband that doesnt give me what i need he loves to work and he dosent like to have funl. Me in the other hand think i have gave him anything he wants but he still wants more from me i dont know what to do and my only thing is to speak to god and asked him to show me the way because i feel like droping the towl and running alway. I dont know what im doing with him i dont even know if i still love him or im use to been with him i have five kids and that one of the reaseon that have me stuck with him . My dad left my mom when we were three i say we because he left my mom with my 3 brothers and 2 sisters which one of my sister is my twin. I feel realy bad because he left and we had no dad fugure thats the only reason i dont leave him i want my kids to have there mom and dads to gether even thou i dont want to be here only if he would change but i guess i just need to wait and see, what my future would say more far ahead i wish you the best of luck in what ever your decisions is take care and god bless u have faith that god is alwasy with us 89.7 KSGN is the stationi listing to when i feel nothing is worth it so best of luck to u.

Has anything changed since you posted this? What happened?

Im so very sorry for u all, if u r not educated then get an education, it is hard to get good jobs without some education, start putting up money a little at a time, like the other comment said start getting strong, excersise, read, work on ur posture, color ur hair or get a wig on ebay, they r cheap, buy nice jewery and clothes a little at a time they r also cheap on ebay. It may take a year or 14 months but now u have some hope and something to work for, stayed focused on ur goal and start feeling good about ur self, then when u have had enough go live ur life. good luck to u all.

I want to leave mine but i have no money, no car, no where to go. I want to get out before my son gets any older and any more attached to him, he's only 2 and right now daddy is the greatest but what he doesn't know is daddy is an a@@ who will break his heart, i've seen him do it to his other kids and to me. He's selfish, stingy, arrogant, bossy and thinks he's my father. I'm so over it that I just cried for a good 45 minutes right in front of my baby boy. He just hugged me and said Mommy it will be okay, well it won't unless some money fairy will come from the sky and drop a wad a cash on my large enough to get the F outta here, did i mention I'm on disability, yep my hubby gave me AIDS. I almost died but I'm very healthy now thanks to meds and my son is totally negative, anyway, I can't stand this anymore, I don't even know what to say.

Im leaving my husband we have been married for 5years now and together for 7, we have 3 beautiful kids. But other than our kids we have nothing in common, im not in love with him anymore i dont think that i have ever been we had a 1st child in the 1year of our relationship and at the time i think that i was deeply in love but it was hard we would fight like men in the street i would leave him and by some stupid *** fate take him back marry him and give him 2more kids. In the last 7years i have supported him in every way im tired i have given that i have to him and my kids at the end of the day i have nothing for myself. i hate for him to touch me or to even be in the same room as me. i keep threating to leave him but havent done it yet but little does he know im putting him out and filing for divorce. i dont want **** from. hell every thing we have in our home ive bought so i know i can do it on my own. im just tired and i could see alittle bit if he was my age and we started of at the same level but dam hes 11years older and never really been locked up he just lazy as all hell and i dont want to carry a grown *** man no more if you cant ride with me please dont hinder me

i have been with my husband for 8 years..and i feel the same way u do..except he verbaly abuses me and he is horrible about letting me spend any money at all...i really related to ur story ..idk how to fix my relationship at all.i know if i had the choice i would just change how he is with a wiggle of my nose lol but i know thats not going to happen..and i dont want to leave him but i dont want to waste anymlre time being miserable..im extreemly depressed ..i never mentioned it to my doctor but idk i hope ur life gets better..

Im kinda in the same situation but a bit different

my husband dont like me spending money, & i work. He is not understanding, he dont care abt quality time, & he is not romantic or effectionant. He is selfish ,& we have nothing in common. I hate my marrage, ive been married 2 1/2 years

start by getting your strength... whether literally through exercise or through reading and talking you need to get your strength back otherwise your bond to go out there and meet the same type of guy over and over again... when you change it will force him to change... and you can decide if that's what you want to stay with... this is my thought, but you have to do whatever you feel is best for you...

that sounds like me im 26 had a little girl when i was 21 got married 22 and had a boy at 25. everything is perfect but i as well cant stand him and have no where to go we dont even have a bank account, so no money. everything we have is in his parents nAme so i will never have nothing> and i as well want so much more, i was diagnoised with depression 1 year ago and he makes selfish and mean coments to me.... go take your pills...... do u need a pills or what???....... he makes me feel like **** on the bottom of a shoe.... his shoe