I Am So Afraid.....

My fear is high today, I am not in any physical danger but I am afraid of moving on and letting go. I have been with the same man for 8 years now. In this time we have built our dream home and have property and toys all over. He is visually beautiful, strong,  Charismatic, very hard working, and he gets me. If I stay I do believe that we will be okay  financially, and that he will remain true.

He also is a drinker and pron to violent outbreaks, he is a misogynist and I find him to be mentally abusive. I feel that he does not give me the level of physical contact I need, a simple hug or hand holding and I hate the sex although I use it as trade off for physical contact.

He has three grown boys from a past marriage and has be fixed, and I am beginning to feel my own clock ticking. I don't feel right, I believe there is more out there for me, while I do think that we have made it through the worst, I really don't see it getting any better. I am afraid of the unknown and I so long for love, to give it and be loved, I think I am  a very good and honest person and my clients always say; " I sure hope your man know what I fine and special person you are." But am not sure that he does, he can be so mean with the things he says but his body language does not match up so I sluff it off. 

The other day we were talking about our wills and he said to don't worry you will have a year to get out or buy out my kids. I think that's crap. I designed this house and I very literally built this 4000 square foot home with my bare hands, I am also the one paying for the mortgage so I do think that is just the final straw for me.

I will be 35 this year and I know there are no guarantees in life but I do love this man and I am finding it so hard to let go, please does anyone know where to start.  I do not want anything from him except my bike, truck and snowmobile perhaps 10000 cash to finish my school. The rest he can choke on.

niksaw niksaw
31-35, F
4 Responses Feb 22, 2010

When my husband threatened to end our marriage i was so confused, restless and heartbroken. i did not know what to do. So i read an article about Love spells testimony of Mrs. Angela William of how she reunited with her ex. so i decided to make contact with her and she gave me the contact details of the spell caster that helped her, So i contact him and i am also giving testimony because i am grateful for what he did for me, my husband is now happy with me. Make contact today and save your marriage. Contact Dr. Orinoco on Orinokosolutiontemple1(at)gmail.com. Best of Luck

Its because your self confidence is shot... he tears you down and manipulates you into think its you... do you have some friends you can stay with??? yeah you built the house... but he's a stubborn arse that is not going to leave... when the bills don't start getting paid maybe he'll wise up, maybe change, or maybe get the hell out so you can have your house back...

It's hard to follow what you really want. I know i'm not doing it. Be strong and you will be able to do this. Just tell him how you feel. I told my husband that I wanted to leave him, and he has been working on some stuff to try and save out marriage. Maybe a kick in the balls will help him.

It's hard to follow what you really want. I know i'm not doing it. Be strong and you will be able to do this. Just tell him how you feel. I told my husband that I wanted to leave him, and he has been working on some stuff to try and save out marriage. Maybe a kick in the balls will help him.