Stop Me From Loving You

Time and again I have been trying over and over

To straighten myself from the darkest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

I have tried to be responsible in my actions

Be mature enough to stand and correct that miscalculated presumption,

Of a luscious mistake I so love to repeatedly do.

I might have pulled myself up and run away from you,

Only to become trap on the daily thoughts of you.

I guess by now you know how much I had tried

To defy that invisible attachment from your influence,

But I realized resisting makes me want you more.

I can’t fight the need to reach you further.

It’s weakening, it’s captivating, and it’s tempting.

I have wished to hammer my head and say “hey, wake up”.

And yet I have failed because in the world of make-believe

Illusion is as sweet as that of those who have been deprived of.

It is ironic to say I’m too emotionally vulnerable

to wake up and stand against playing-pretend

in this realm we once in a while create to feel loved and be needed.

Hence I don’t know where to start or how to end.

I guess I am at a lost and baffled with thoughts

Asking you to please help me forget you.

So before my emotions are taking me over, I am writing you this.

For I fear that the moment I'll see you, I will melt into your arms

begging you to touch me once more, and feel your kiss

Pleading you to hold me like you’ll never gonna leave,

And then I will be back to my same old cycle again, of happiness and sadness,

and more sadness for I know deep inside, I cannot change my past

nor do anything about my future, for we have none of that.

I will never be reciprocated for I know you are not meant to stay.

Sooner or later I am destined to get hurt.

So hurt me now please, and if you can, make me hate you,

to hate you so much as to never make me long for you again.

Give me bad memories, and make me feel I don't deserve you

by then I can freely let you go off my mind.

If you see me rushing back to you, stop me.

I will thank you one day for helping me forget you.
chrisfairy chrisfairy
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 9, 2010

what a really nice poem.. :)