C.Two nights ago I dreamt of you. It wasn't like my usual dreams. It was cruel in its own way. It won't leave me be.
Do you remember the first time you told me that someday you wanted to meet in person? You said we would sit in café on a lazy afternoon, sipping tea & allowing our "complimentary humours" to take us where they would.
Well that was it. That was the dream. My heart has ached every second since.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not apt to share my feelings publicly. I compartmentalise. I store things in little boxes with bows & feel them only when I'm alone.
But these past two days have been difficult. I feel heavy with the loss of you, like I'm dragging this love with me everywhere I go. Chains around my neck.
Perhaps I can expunge it here.
Perhaps I will be free of this emptiness.
Before I came to EP I didn't understand how anyone could form such bonds with *2d* people. It's so silly when I think of it now, because a persons physicality has nothing to do with the click of friendship. & here too as we all show our true colours these bonds weave deeper than they do within a very proper societal construct.
I know you. I know your soul. I've seen it. I've held it close to mine.
I Know you.
& I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the clash as our tempers flared & screeched & hissed like fire. I miss the easy silences. & the sweet loving words that sealed us together.
How did it all become so unstuck?
Relationships change with life's ebbs & flows. But I never thought that ours would be in past tense.
Goodbye my sweet friend. I hope you find what you are looking for.
I love you.