Of Life

Of everything.
I just want to take a big ol' session of talk it out, walk it out, let it out, and just LET GO.
You know why I can't let go? Because I hold on. You know why I hold on? Because it's ALL I HAVE.
You know what would happen if I let go? I'd be left with nothing. I hold on because it's all I have.
If I didn't hold on I would have nothing to fill my spirits with.
a lot of the things I hold onto are good, sweet, memories. 
Some of them are bad memories because I keep them so I know what will happen.
But, I do want to let go.
I want to let go so I can change and feel good.
But no one is giving me that chance.
No one is here to help me release.
You know what happens when I release alone? I go crazy.
I'm serious.
I am not playing. I do need people, for that reason alone.
When I release, when I let go, it comes out in the uttermost negative, craziest way.
Everything gets torn apart, usually myself is the one taking, and doing the damage.
You don't understand.
Letting go hurts more than it helps.
In the end, it is more of a burden then a lifting.
Which is why I want to let go of life.
Then I won't have that.
Then it'll all be gone.
WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom
18-21, F
Jun 23, 2011