Life When It's Stuck Is Bleak But We Just Keep Pressing On...

    Well I can totally relate to wanting to live again. I have been living with me ex and yeah, we can spare those details cause living again would be moving on but you see, I moved from the city where my life was pretty full and I had stuff to do and people to see more than not and moved to the country at her say so... Yeah, the details... Okay, hehe... I'll save them for a rainy day... Oh what it is raining... LOL. Oh well another time on that one. Well, I can't move out cause she can't afford for me to leave and I don't want to just leave her in the lurch. Besides my pets our pets, which are pretty numerous are here too and I can't let them down either... It's just not in me to do. So here I am still. I broke up with her many months ago, more than a year now and we have had our good moments and I always wanted to remain friends but living with her was not on the cards for me.
     There was a time I could have left and she was well off and would have been fine and I went back to Adelaide, the city; well, she got me back here to do her a favor and appealed to my over sensitive BS conscience, which too was many months ago, well... I just feel so trapped but that would be fine in and of itself and probably wouldn't get to me but it seems she's always on the revenge path and won't let go and knows I'm stuck here cause I won't just give up on my animals or this place and leave... 
     Well, details aside. I know if I could move on my life would free up and I would feel so much lighter and happier just for that very fact of living my own life again... Which last time I did that was five long long years ago. It was good, but life on the other side I know might seem greener and all that but truth is my life would be a damn site easier that's for sure... Not perfect no, but I wouldn't be rehashing old wounds and emotions with her that I long ago let go of and I would have my own space and domain and will power without her reminding me of how I've hurt her... She tries I guess... But damn I would love to move on! I'm not saying she's all bad cause she's not but reality is reality and this arrangement can't ever get better this way... Man yeah, boy would I love to live again! Just my own life will do... hehe... 
someothersoul someothersoul
31-35, M
Jul 13, 2010