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I Want to Feel Free.

I wanna walk barefoot in the grass and not think of anything but how thick and lush it feels.

I wanna play at the park with my hubby and flirt like i was 15.

I wanna look at strangers like unknown friends instead of a threat to my safety.

I wanna feel pretty again, i want to feel comfortable in my own skin when i am pretty.  I want to be able to look at myself naked and not feel ashamed.

I want to forget to remember sometimes.

I want to remember what it feels like to sit in the grass looking at the starts until the dew forms.

I want to laugh and play like the weight of the world isn't held completely on my shoulders.

I don't want to feel tired all the time anymore.

 

Mostly- i just want to live like my life wasn't about the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Shierke Shierke 26-30, F 3 Responses May 30, 2008

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I sympathize with that so much it hurts. I ache to do every one of those in that list. I want to be free...oh God is hurts so bad when I concider it as a possibility. It doesn't feel quite as bad when you know it's impossible, but I tease myself with hope. It does seem as long as someone is alive, it is outlawed to be free. Sometimes I'm so tempted to go out into the woods and build a log cabin, just live out there. Oh, how it burns...

i love it!!!

Beautifully written.