I lost my 18yr son 4yrs ago and I feel so lost without him. Even though I have 2 other kids & a grand baby, I am just so lost I feel as though I have no need to go on. Everyone seem to think I am this wonderful person for being strong. When in fact I feel dead inside, I am only strong on the outside only because I dont want my family and friends to see me cry. I have lost many things in my life. But to lose a child is the hardest thing I have ever face, He was the first born, He was the one that taught me what love really was. I had him when I was 16yr, We done everything togther him and I was on a Vol fire dept. But the day he left me was the day I stopped living,
Yellowrose Yellowrose
36-40, F
6 Responses Jan 27, 2007

I'm so sorry. Makes my feelings of loss seem so minor in comparison. I hope that you will be able to carry on. Bless you

To lose someone close to you is hard, but to lose your child must be the worst thing on earth, read a book by gordon smith called "The unbelievable truth" he talks about life after death,it will bring comfort to you.God bless you

Easier said than done...my friend, what you are feeling is normal. I cannot fathom losing one of my children to death...i have lost a teenager through an emotional disconnect and it is tearing me apart. but he is physically "here". I don't know how you feel, but I can only imagine that I would feel the same way. Yes, trying to focus on those who are left who need you is a noble cause and an important one, but I think you should find a grief support group. people who have been there done that and can relate to you rather than to stand on the outside cheerleading. i'm sure there isn't a parent a live who has been in your situation that didn't feel the same way. whether it's been 4 years or 40 years you are entitled to your grief. the pretending will only last so long, so please reach out around you and find support from those who share in your pain. God Bless you and your family...

I find that sometimes, when something bad happens, focusing on the positive parts helps me get through it. Not only do you have two other wonderful children to spend time on, you also have a grand child too. <br />
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Think of your son as a happy mark on your life. Think of all the times he made you smile and how he's probably looking down on you, wishing that you would genuinely smile once again. <br />
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I know what it's like to lose something. But I think right now, you should focus on what you have left, not what you don't have anymore.

My children are the only thing that has keep me going. And besides that I know that God wont put no more on me than I can handle, But there are days I wish he didnt trust me so much.