ChangesA lot has happened in life since I was last on EP and changes have been happening. To say that I am living in interesting times resonates and some times have been good and some have been not so good, however this is life. I will write about the good as we all have experienced enough of the bad.
I am now married to Rob and this is an everyday joy. We live in Florida which is also a joy as the sun shines almost everyday here and we have even planted flowers on our patio which are blooming and thriving. We adopted two cats from a rescue shelter and have our little family. Imagine flowers blooming outside in January! Imagine having dear little furry family members and not fearing for their safety! Imagine living with a husband who is constantly kind and supportive! Life is a peaceful and safe place to be and so different from the past years.
Both Rob and I have learned that everything worthwhile in life comes at some cost. It is making peace with the cost that has been a great learning experience. We have lost some people that we thought of as a constant in our lives, however we have also been given tremendous support from others so it balances out.
Rob and I are becoming very "Zen" in how we view life now. Events will play out as they will because the only people and actions we are responsible for are our own. We have the ability to control our actions and thoughts but thinking that we have any bearing on how others feel is an illusion. This is itself is quite freeing. We walk our own paths and others will walk their chosen paths.
Rob and I spend a lot of time talking. Sometimes it is nothing more than rubbish and laughter and then again conversations do touch on deeply felt emotional topics and we bounce back and forth opinions and perceived learned wisdoms. What is clear is that we both can talk about any subjects and not fear being censored. It is a time of growth and one is never too old to grow. What is wonderful about being human.
One lesson Rob and I have learned is that almost every part of change takes much longer that anticipated. Patience truly is a virtue and lasting effects of our past lives are still being worked through. It is our mutual love and commitment towards one another that makes coping easier.
For any of you who are struggling with life changes, we have some learned wisdom to share. Perhaps the hardest times will be making that final decision. Every person close to you will react in some way and not all reactions will be what you have expected. Some will be happy and supportive and some will not. You cannot be responsible for others feelings or actions. All you can be responsible are your own. Think of yourself as the round hub of a wheel. As long as you keep your life as others have come to expect, the hub is round and all flows around you, the hub. Once you start making changes, the hub and it's shape changes. Then people slowly adapt or fall away. This process becomes very painful for some people and you will lose parts of that old life. That is what change is after all.
There will be a period of time when, as we both have done, that you will feel the loss of certain people quite deeply. Life will also change as to financial stability, however we both knew this and were prepared in part so this is workable. As to the loss of certain people in our lives, this is where the Zen comes into play. Learning that we can only only answer for ourselves and our Karma is enlightening. Letting go of disappointments has been a gradual part of how we now live day by day. Healing feels so good. Forgiving is a journey and Rob and I are at different stages. He is ahead of me but I am catching up however we both understand that this is at his and my own pace.
The biggest change is not that Rob and I are man and wife but in how we view life. It will work as it does. We live in the moment, one day at a time and treasure each laugh, touch, smile. Learning to live in the moment and having the wisdom to put fear, anger, and disappointments to one side gives us both the gift of appreciating the joined life we now have. Peace to all, D.