Getting Everything Out There..

I don't even know where to begin. I feel like life has become such a routine that I don't even know what day it is. Everything is spiraling out of control. Work has completely isolated me from any friends I had. I see them maybe once a month. I don't have enough time to spend with my son. I'm tired all the time. I can sleep but never rest. What's wrong with me?

I'm still questioning where I fit in this world. Living in this town my entire life..it is anything but a "home town". I don't feel like there's much here. I've seen it all. Meeting new people and feeling like I've met 6 more just like them after so few words. So I'm questioning...where is home? It's not here. It's like the saying goes..home is where your heart is..and my heart just isn't here. I've always had this thought in the back of my mind of Boston. But I couldn't tell you why. Because that part..I haven't figured out yet.

I feel so isolated from everyone. I work in one of the most social places. A hair salon. But I haven't talked to anyone I could be friends with. I just wish for once that I could have a fairy tale. Not blasts from the past or nostalgia.The one person I could see that with is moving 9 hours away..with their significant other. But why are the words "I love you" exchanged between us if we aren't together? What can I do at this point? There's no reason chasing after something already gone. Right? I just want happiness. True happiness.

I'm sick of always getting the short end of the stick. In my work, my love life, my friendships, where I live. All of it.