Been There

I decided to post this because I foun my younger self in many of these stories posted here and wanted to share my point of view,maybe it will help or clarify someone.
I lost my virginity when I was 23. I also thought that it may never happen,that I am too socially akward and all of that.
But here I am,30,married and the mother of 2 kids.
I first waited because I wanted to be mature enough to make that step-I was thinking maybe,17-18,if I was in a good relationship. But that did not happen until I was 19,and the guy I dated was also a virgin.
He wanted to do it,I wasn*t too sure about it,he was the kind of guy who braggs about everything and I didn*t want this private matter turned into everyones bussiness. So I said NO,and carried on with my life.
The next guy I*ve dated was kind of a manwhore,and even if I loved him with all my heart,I just didn*t want to end up just another name on his very large list. He was not interested in a steady,long term relationship anyway and I ended it because I did*t want to be used and then thrown away like some of his exes.
At almost 23 I started a relantionship with my bestfriend at the time,we just fell in love more and more as time went by and one night,still alive in my heart,we confessed our love for eachother.
He was surprised I was still a virgin (we didn*t talk about sex much and I always acted like I knew exactly what I was talking about) but he was younger than me and had almost no experience either so we walked eachother through it,learned what the other likes,how to read our bodies,etc.
We waited for 3 months before we first had sex and it didn*t work out perfectly from the first try,we had to *practice* and then get the hand of it.
We have been married now for almost 4 years and we have 2 kids together.

My point to the story is to not just *give it away* because you feel you must,but if you do choose a good person that you can trust,in no time you*ll get over your insecurities and feel confident and loved for way more than just your body.
Hang in there and don*t lose hope,you never know when your life will change around.
blacklidya blacklidya
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 11, 2012

Excellent point. Young women don't need to be ***** to find love. Usually the opposite happens. Love is so much more than sex.

I agree with you completely. I am nineteen and just lost my virginity a couple months ago. I was waiting until I was with the right guy, at the right time. I was in conditions to lose my virginity before, but nothing ever felt right about it. I started talking to this guy online, and we hit it off right away. We met a few months later and got to know each other personally. He was my best friend. I talked to him about everything and anything, all day and all night. We decided to date and we talked about sex, but I told him I wasn't ready right away. He understood and didn't pressure me at all. He knew that I wanted to make sure I wasn't making a mistake - that was his biggest fear, me regretting him being my first. With the exception of having sex only once, he was practically a virgin too. After dating for a few months, it felt comfortable and it felt right. I took the initative one night (something I would never have had the courage to do with my ex's), and we finally had sex. He was always up to it, of course, but he respected me and let me tell him when I was ready. I don't regret it and I never will. It was sweet and it wasn't awkward at all. We had mishaps of course, but we just laughed it off and kept going, which made it that much more romantic. I'm glad I waited for him, because if not, I probably would not feel this close to him or this in love with him. He has been a lot of firsts for me, which will always make him special and always have a place in my heart.