What Is Going On!
Posted May 13th, 2010 at 2:02PM
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again.
My bum was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new bum was attached at least three inches lower than my original, and was at least three sizes bigger! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favour of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.
This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey’s neck, I decided to tell my story.
Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me!
The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX: This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.
Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart.
P.P.S. - These same thieves came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do it????
Just thought you should know.
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It's all very sad, isn't it? And they are soooo random in which part they steal. The first thing they took from me were my eyeballs. Now I can't even see the numbers on the tv. remote.
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You know Cab, it could be aliens stealing our parts too. I look at my body now and I know this is NOT me. This could be a case of ... Invasion of The Body Snatchers ... and they're taking over the whole world ! I want my own hair returned to me too !!!
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Quick Call 911 Them Thiefs Have Been Robbing Me For Years.
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Yep. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
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Yeah those damn thieves stole my tight little body and replaced it with a size 14... ugh...
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Ahh, thanks EP friends, I wish I'd said it, but it's all so true. Just about all of me has been replaced by some awful bits 'n pieces and there are parts of my brain missing too, but if they replaced any of that, it was obviously rejected! You see, I did have a somewhat superior brain, problem is, them's the bits they stoled! Now I'm just not right in the head, and wearing a fat, older person's body! ET you lied to us!!!!
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"OK OK IT WAS ME BUT YA AINT GETTIN EM BACK."
LOVED YOUR LETTER,- HAVE A NICE DAY. -
Hey Nige, what do you charge? And if I give you names will you do a swap for me? I know lots of lovely young things I'd love to swap with. I wont be cruel, just one part here, another there ... let us know!!!
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Damn was wondering where my parts went.... Now I know!!!!! HEhehehe Loved your story...
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Thanks M x@
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I have never ever successfully dieted ... Lots of unsuccessful dieting tho ;). Worst is the weekend when i cook yummy , healthy but not dietetic , food for family ... I need a stick to it mantra .. St that will keep me there !! Any help fellow ladies??
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They stole my penis and left a raisin.
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:D love all the comments x@
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These are entertaining and fun. Laughter is good. But, I have found that exercise and healthy lifestyle really does help (some, anyway!)
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Yes, exercise does help a lot. You should not wait till they all shriveled up then you worry about getting them but its too late...But the comments are very funny tho....LOLs. -
I really loved this story!! I agree with Lilt, laughter is better than crying :)
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Crest and Getalife, glad you enjoyed them! X@
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sooo true! been feeling that the body I have now isnt mine at all!
now I realise whats been going on! thanks for opening my eyes! -
My dental hygenist told me I had the teeth of a 40 year old. What I'd like to know now is where I can find the rest of him.
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You 'n me Bob! X@
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I am just sick. I have been trying to ignore it for years and you forced it on me. I was a weight lifter for over 10 years. I was buff. I had 17 inch arms, a 19 inch neck, a 56 inch chest and a 31 inch waist. I weighed 181 when I was 40 years old. Oh, and I had a penis that reached to above my belly button. Then they struck. They didn't ***** me of everything, they just jumbled it up a little. I still have 17 inch arms. I still have a 19 inch neck. I still have a 56 inch chest.But now I have a 48 inch waist. My penis barely reaches my balls. and I weigh 310 pounds. I have also been body swapped............... drip .......... fart ...........snork ..........droul..........
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Oh Mewold, if this had been a question, yours would have won best answer! Unfortunately they swapped my bladder too, so now I'm wetting myself laughing! :D X@
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:[
Some evil person out there is wearing a wig made from my hair. At 42, I don't have "male pattern balding", but know that this is NOT my hair because my hair is a lot thicker than the cheap "Made in Batam, Indonesia" stuff that they swapped it for.
And they didn't even bother to get the colour right; since when did I have grey hairs? I even found one in my groin, and was totally traumatized. Those bastidds have no limits!
The bastidds took my eyes too. I had to go make reading glasses. Fortunately, I have a Stunt Nephew (aged 4+) who will approach me when I'm rummaging desperately, and say, "Are you looking for your glasses, AP? I found them on the big dining table and I put them back in the case for you. Here they are."
*hugs cabcraft*
*bows to mewold*
Love,
Andrew -
This is great !
Love the boobs hiding in the waistband and the clothes shrinking -
AP that is such an insult, I agree! Grey pubic hair is not funny. As for the glasses, at least SN (aged 4+) didn't have to point them out on top of your head. Small mercies.
Lorraine, I agree, the boobs bit had me snorting coffee through my nose! Does those sinuses they swapped lots of good service btw - they're clogged up too often!
But sheesh, the memory - why would they want only bits and pieces? They didn't even take only the best, or sexy or intelligent. Across the board. But some I'd like back dammit, I only remember half the story, and without the ending it's really boring. A joke without the middle bit is as bad as forgetting the punch-line.
As for the extra weight, oh c'mon! If they put them into the boobs, lips and wrinkles it'd be a fair exchange, but my *** was always filled out well!
X@ -
AP!!!!!!!!!!
What the hell are you doing inspecting your pubes for grey hairs. Oh my, that is truly bored.
Question - how do you manage to see the pubes over the coastline, oh, I meant waistline.
hehehehhee
love
b -
*blushing*
bcj!!!!!!!!!!!
I wasn't inspecting them. I saw it by accident, and *FREAKED*. I have no idea how long that mutant has been growing in my groin.
:P
AP -
hahhahaa
I would need all kinds of mirrors to be able to see there.
Ignorance is bliss.
b -
:D Indeed B! We need to start plotting revenge!
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:D Indeed B! We need to start plotting revenge!
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Omg.. Cabcraft,
That was funny!!! I started to feel that way too.. Who is that woman in the mirror staring back at me... I have to do something about it. So I started to walk. Walking turned into hiking which I enjoy so much. One thing has lead to another and I started slowly to change my eating habits. Now I am feeling better and I have been told I am looking better. What put the cherry on the ice-cream so to speak was when my soon to be ex said.. wow... u look great! Ahhhh... gee I wish I can say the same for him.. He gained about 30 pounds. ;-) -
Giggle NG27, I wish I could get revenge on these bandits, I'd give them the worst "look" ever! I've lost some weight, not much, but dunno how!! :) Also had some re-distribution due to Menopause, so I'm slimmer in places but fatter in others. Unfortunately not where I'd choose!!!! :D X@
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