It's EndlessI've never been skinny. I'm not a big person, but I look at my fr
To keep the weight I am, I run almost every ******* day. I've been running for over 25 years. I've run marathons (2), half marathons (10? 12? 15?), but mostly, I just run 4 miles a day, 4-5 times a week. I go to dance classes and do yoga. Occasionally I get all into weights or sit ups or some equally muscle training exercise. You would think I would be skinny. But no, I'm not. I think I just gain weight, a pound at a time. Every day I wake up with the resolve that I will eat healthily -- no sugar, no cake, no cookies, no ice cream, no anything. I will stick to salad and english muffins and fat free sugar free jello. But, alas, dinner comes, and I find I've scoffed down a full meal. Quite possibly a normal meal, but all the same, not the meal of a person who thinks, I need to lose 10 lbs.
What have I tried? Oh, leek soup weekends (french women don't get fat) and the wonders of claratin curb an appetite like little else. But, ultimately, it seems to be the same. I follow weight watchers from some long learned training there... that too was one of the skinny periods of my life, and I did weigh 121, but I was also training for a marathon and destroyed my body in the process. For weeks I could barely walk. So, I don't run marathons anymore. Besides, the meetings freak me out and I just track my meals on my own. Points... schmoints. I tell you, even if I write it down, it only works if I stay under the right number of points per day, which is hard to do for me, always hungry, always wanting something more. Baby Carrots and celery sticks are a good snack for like... oh... six or seven nights and then I lose interest. I can't even go a day without eating chocolate as it is!
So, I am sad, very sad. I want to lose weight. yes, for as long as I can remember, I've been wanting to weigh a beautiful, svelte 120 lbs. I can't seem to get there. I tell myself 126 wouldn't be bad. That's just 5-6-7 lbs away on a daily basis. But it seems so far from here because I have been trying for 20 years, 30 years to get there.
Yes, I want to lose weight. 5 lbs, 10 lbs. May it happen. Make it so.
Oh, dear weight loss friends, I hope there is someone out thre like me, someone who
theboldfox 36-40, F 0 Nov 22, 2010