Emotional Eating Totally Sucks!!!

I am a 24 yr old who is 5'5 and weighs 250 pounds. I have been trying to lose weight for years but after having a truamatic childhood, and being adopted and having emotional issues from child abuse before I was adopted, l deal with eating when I'm stressed. I lost about 25 pounds a couple of years ago and I was soooo happy but the my adoptive mother was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease. Taking care of her all day, running the family business and other daily demands, cause me to be extremely depressed. Then on top of her having huntington's disease she also has a hiatal hernia, a mass on her kidneys, and cataracts. She was supposed to have surgery on her hernia, but when they did a CT scan to prep her for surgery they found the mass on her kidneys. So it's one thing after another, 2-3 doctor appointments a week, running the family business, and keeping her from losing it is making me lose it. Any way, all that weight I lost has come back and then some. Every time I try to eat right and exercise, something goes wrong and I screw it up again. I also know my self esteem is low because with the huntington's disease my mom says a lot of things she doesn't mean, but it still hurts. You tell her not to say certain things or you tell her to please be nice and she either doesn't remember saying it, or she keeps going. It's becoming insane, my adrenaline is always going because she falls down a lot and refuses to use her walker, she tips back in her chair because of her disease making her move constantly, so that makes her fall over. I feel like I'm going nuts, my dad, my fiance' and I work in shifts trying to take care of her, but between her, her 3 dogs, and her cat, cleaning up after her, making sure someone is here to let the dogs out, give her and her 14 yr old dog their meds 3 times a day, I end my day with a few ice cream sandwiches and some cheetos. I feel like I'm losing my mind and I want to be healthy so I can take care of her, but the stress is literally killing me. On top of everything I'm getting married in September and I'm supposed to be a happy bride to be, but I'm not, I feel run down, unattractive, depressed, and sad all of the time. I don't even feel like I'm getting married. I feel like it's too good to be true. Like there is sooo much crap going on in my life that this beautiful thing could not be happening to me. My fiance is my high school sweet heart we've been together 7 1/2 years, and he is the most supportive, and loving person in the world, but I feel like I'm gonna get on the next greyhound bus and never look back. I feel like I'm not the bride he should have. I should be happy energetic and willing to do what ever he wants, But everything with my mom takes away a lot of time that my fiance and I should have together. It's not that we are growing apart it just makes things a lot harder for us. I'm going nuts!! What should I do?????
alicia43434 alicia43434
May 5, 2012