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My Weight Loss Journey...

 Two years ago, my partner of 18 years left me....it was probably the very BEST day of my life!!! Shortly after, I started a new journey, a journey to re-invent myself. In my 18 year relationship I had gained well over 120 lbs...After the first two years of my relationship I became unhappy and started turning to food for comfort. Mostly ice cream, but I wasn't a discriminant eater, if I could stuff it in my mouth...I would. At the time, I smoked cigarettes as well. I guess I was one of those orally fixated peeps. Still am, but use my mouth in a much more delectable fashion these days (wiggling eyebrows).  The year before my 13 year old daughter was born, I quit smoking.  That act, although supposedly a huge health move, added even more poundage on my small 5'4 frame. As my relationship deteriorated, my body got bigger. My emotional eating increased and I hid under layers of skin and flesh. I tipped the scales at over 280 lbs.  My doctor called me "morbidly obese" and I was pre diabetic.  Sadly enough,  I just didn't really care. I was unhappy. I hated my relationship, I hated myself  and although I loved my daughter, I obviously didn't love her enough to lose weight to try and stick around for her.  My body was my fortress...it protected me from feelings of pain, depression, anger, and disappointment. Food were the bricks I used to build my fortress. I took prozac for my depression. And I muddled along in life, never expecting more. I settled. This is what life was meant to be for me. Comfortable. I always knew what to expect and what the routine was.  

     When the partner of 18 years left and became my ex., it was my defining moment,  my  moment of truth. The day I grew my wings, the day my prozac pills got flushed and bottle tossed. It started the journey...my two year weight loss journey. The first six months of the journey, my mantra was to decrease portion sizes of my food, eat out less and join a gym. I also managed to pick up a new girlfriend along the way. I lost 50 lbs those first six months. However, when the holidays hit, I gained half back. Putting me at only a 25 lb loss....a mere scratch on the Queen Mary.   This past November, I ditched the girlfriend, who always claimed she never ate, then would sock down two or three turkey and avocado sandwiches at one sitting...I kept the gym membership and added more cardio (zumba) twice a week.  I began to realize a couple of things. First of all....no one can lose a significant amount of weight, unless they are READY to!  You can tell everyone, including yourself how much you want to lose weight, but until you are really READY,  it won't happen. Another thing, you have to identify your trigger food. What prompts your eating, what is your most diabolic, fiendish food that you can't stay away from?  Mine was sugar and dairy. And although I wanted to lose weight and I was most definitely READY to lose weight, the thought of giving up the things that made me happy in life...sugar and dairy...was not a savory thought. So, I compromised. I gave up all items sugar for two weeks but kept dairy such as cheese, skim milk and plain yogurt.  The other foods I ate for the first two weeks were meat and nuts. Basically it was a lo-carb type diet. It was my jump start! So, I was going to the gym 5 days a week, walking of the treadmill and do some light weight work and going to zumba twice a week.  7 days of exercise!  A lot more physical activity than I was used to! By January I had re-lost the 25 lbs plus some and had put back some complex carbohydrates back into my diet.  By February I had decided that food really wasn't all that important to me. I needed it mostly for energy and fuel to do stuff. A typical day of food was, a slice of cracked wheat bread (toasted) with a smathering of peanut butter for breakfast. A half of a turkey or ham or whatever sandwich on cracked wheat, a piece of fruit and a bottle of water. Dinner was usually a glass of milk and a bag of microwave popcorn. I snacked during the day on unsalted nuts, skim milk, cheerios w/skim milk,  or a spoonful of peanut butter. I have  since lost 103 lbs. I am still considered obese, but will rectify that soon when I hit my final goal of losing another 27 lbs. I will then be 150 lbs, which is considered normal for my height. The worst is getting stuck on plateaus where it seems like the weight will never come off again!  What I have to do to get past those is to trick my body. I do that by maybe eating more one day. I still eat healthy, but it's used to eating just a limited amount of calories (honestly there are days I don't even know if I'm hitting the required 1200 calories). I may go "wogging" walk/jog for 1 1/2 to 3 miles....it's an exercise my body doesn't do too often, so it's not used to it. Take a night or two off of exercise.  Because my body has gotten so used to routine work outs, a night or two off tricks it into losing. 

Another tool I use to help get through the exercise part of my life is to imagine myself doing the routine and then I get myself up and go do it. Like "wogging".  I also use a free app on my phone to help track the distance I wog. The app is called RunKeeper.   In April I learned to golf, and in June I took up a Taiko drum class. Both of those things helped me with more movement and kept my exercise routine fresh. I'm currently contemplating a martial arts class of some type or a recreational sport. I will run my first 5 K in June. 

This journey has been great. I'm no longer pre diabetic. My cholesterol is under control for the first time in years, my blood pressure is finally good and I believe my sleep apnea is gone. My confidence level is way high and I'm a hot babe to be reckoned with. 

deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Sep 7, 2012

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Are you get successed?

C...have you entertained the idea of becoming a certified fitness instructor? I don't know about other bodacious gals, but being the "big" one in a class full of fembots clad in spandex is....well...both unsettling and discouraging!<br />
You are fit and you know the struggles firsthand as well as your propensity for teaching...Maybe a "scurvy women" class? I'd join in a heartbeat! :)

Curvy...not scurvy...lol

wow what a wonderful story! congratulations! I havent read anything on ep quite like ur story, how u detailed each part of your journey to date.. i have to say it opened me eyes. im trying to lose 90 lbs and feel lost sometimes and overwhelmed because it seems like such a challenge. your story has definetely inspired me. ... youve incorporated a lot of exercise into ur life, and if u werent that active before... how do you view working out and exercising now? (because i feel like im just at the beginning of my weight loss journey and am not too motivated to work out. i guess i just want to know if something similar happened to u? and if i stick with it will it get to a point where i love it?) people say exercise makes u feel good , but maybe not at the beginning, for me at the beginning its been hard. if u wouldnt mind answering? and congratulations- youve accomplished alot!! :)

thank you so much sparksfly36!
well, after i read your story i thought alot about being ready to lose weight and i feel like i am.. so today is actually the third day of me eating healthy, making my own meals and choosing healthy snacks. its fun ! i have a veggie casserole in the oven right now, made from leftover veggies and pasta from the soup i made yesterday!
I was supposed to go to the gym yesterday, but i got a nose bleed and was worried i'd get another one. so im going tomorrow actually, and am meeting with my trainer for a session. my goal for this week is to go to the gym at least twice, and then next week maybe 3 times, and so on. id like to build up to a point where im going 5 days a week and i feel great, and that exercising is a part of my routine and part of my life. im here. need to get ------&gt; there. i believe i can do it now.

congrats!!!

congrats!

What an amazing journey you're on, my dear! Ditching all the bad habits, including the people who cause them and the rest just falls into place when your head is in the zone!! You go girl!! You'll be there at your target weight soon!! Well done you! xxx

C,<br />
<br />
This is such an incredible journey that you are on, and I am very proud of you. I really do understand the reasons behind the eating all too well. Making the decision to get healthy is not an easy one, but you are committed to the process. Just take it a day at a time and you will hit your goal before you know it!!! <br />
<br />
I suffered with the same conditions that you did....the apnea, cholesterol and blood pressure (along with the lack of self confidence) Following your journey has helped me re-focus on my own because I had gotten side tracked for a while, but as we both know, the journey to get healthy and stay healthy is a lifetime battle. <br />
<br />
Thank you so much for letting us be part of this journey, and again....I'm SO proud of you my friend :)

that story was awesome. i felt like i was reading my own diary and i cried a lil bit. <br />
i am reviewing this site for my healthy living. just wanna share this to you my friend :)<br />
http://recipesthatareglutenfree.net/

I admire you too! Keep it up! :) Self-confidence is hot!

Definitely a hot babe and I admire the hell out of you!!!!

And I can't think of anyone else I'd have so much fun with along the way! *extending hand*