Don't Know Where To Start

Seriously, I don't. . .
Let's see, I'm 24, married, and currently living in Texas. My husband is in the military so I'm surrounded by a lot of superficial women who care more about their image then anything else. I can't say all of them are like that because I've met a few that are just as weird as me. I look at "weird" as a good thing. I'm a video game, Dungeons and Dragons, Magic playing, Doctor Who and Torchwood watching housewife. It sounds like I don't move around much but I do, being a housewife has me running around the house cleaning, doing laundry, and such.

Well to get into the real issue, I am over weight by quite a bit. My BMI says I am "severly overweight", which I won't disagree with. I don't have a flat stomach, skinny arms, or sexy thighs but I'm "okay" with the way I look. I am tired of being "okay" with it though, I want to be happy and healthy. I've been trying so many ways to lose weight over the last few years but nothing seems to work. I'm not going to say it was the diets because it wasn't, in all reality it's been my fault. I lose my motivation within the first couple weeks.

My biggest problem is I am desperately afraid of gyms, especially the ones here on base. Even if I know no one is looking at me I still think they are. I can never seem to convince myself they aren't. I'm even scared of my husband seeing me workout. I have no idea why I have the fear but I do. Another problem I have is when I cut down my food in take I become, well, a jerk to put it nicely. I snap at everyone and even have trouble sleeping which only makes my mood worse.

I'm not sure what else to say. . .so well that's that I guess.
LizzyJ226 LizzyJ226
22-25, F
Sep 14, 2012