Not Sure What Else To Do.

I've dealt with weight issues my entire life. I've struggled with eating disorders, ive tried all types of diets and somehow I always come back to being overweight and extremely unhappy. I wish I didn't want to go back to my E.D ways but I hate how I look and the scale doesn't lie. I don't know what else to do. I eat and feel horrible. I don't eat and feel horrible too. I'm losing my mind. No one knows my struggle. Seems like people just judge based on my looks and make their own assumptions.... I wish I could just be thinner and confident and beautiful. :(
Babyveex3 Babyveex3
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

I think I know how you feel. Food and weight have always been difficult issues for me too. I developed anorexia in high school, and was in and out of treatment for four years. I made a full recovery before starting college, but I started binging uncontrollably and now I am significantly overweight. I'm trying to get back down to a normal size, because I want to feel better about myself and my appearance. Unfortunately I know from experience that being super-skinny doesn't automatically give you high self-esteem. At the same time I can't shake the feeling that losing weight will make me a better person, because that ideal is so prevalent in our culture. It's extremely frustrating, since it used to be that losing weight was easy for me, but now it's a huge struggle to keep off even a few pounds. I don't want to go back to my E.D., but I don't want to be miserable and overweight, either.

I feel exactly how you do. It's so frustrating because now I find it really hard losing/keeping off weight even more. I've had these issues for so many years and I'm just finding it extremely hard to not go back. I mean, obviously I always come back to 'this' but I don't know... I just wonder if I go back to my old ways if things will somehow get better... I know what people say.. Be healthy and exercise but In my mind It doesn't work out just like that. I feel so guilty for eating in the first place that I end up feeling so much worse and then I'll go long periods without food which end in binge eating. It's a vicious cycle. I have no one to talk to. My family and friends have no idea what's been going on for so many years. If they've noticed they just never said anything, or maybe they just didn't know what to say.....

the thing you have to remember, and i am sure you hear it time and time again, is, being beautiful is NOT about the scale my friend. I want to lose 50 pounds to fit better into clothes, and to be less tired. if you say to yourself WHY you want ot lose weight, and do not include anything with beauty or the words thin, you will feel better about it and go further with your goals!

Yeah I understand. I think it's really just a mental thing. I know I should eat right and exercise and just live a healthy lifestyle but I always get discouraged and go back to my E.D ways. It's something I know I have to work on. It's hard.... :/