I Don't Want to Die Any Sooner Than I Have to

I was underweight as a child. Force fed malted milkshakes. Prodded to finish my plate. (there are kids starving in Africa) I never liked to exercise to the point of exertion. I rode my bike and climbed my tree, that was as active as I liked to be. My bike was transportation.

As an adult, my weight climbed. In my early twenties I used to walk five miles a day, but by the time I had my third child at 29, I weighed more than I ever had. 5 feet tall and 232 lbs. I went to weight watchers and walked again and dropped down to a fun and acceptable 134lbs.

When I met my second husband, and got a desk job, my weight started to climb again, and two years later when we married, I'd put 20lbs back on.

15 years and two more children later, I am back up again. I was 229 a few weeks ago, and started paying attention to what I was eating and trying to get a little more exercise again.

I've dropped 3lbs so far, but it is a challenge. I've been ill with CFS and it makes exercise difficult. And I love meat and pasta.  sigh.  I don't want to deal with diabetes and I'd love to feel attractive again. My self-worth is bottomed out. I know that doesn't help.


Bananafone Bananafone
46-50, F
3 Responses Feb 14, 2009

Soooo TRUE!!!!

If you're trying to exercise more, bicycling would be fantastic, especially as the weather gets better. Bicycling magazine had success stories from people who'd lost amazing amounts of weight an issue or two back, and biking was a major contributor my own weight loss. For that matter Bicycling has all sorts of data on estimated calorie consumption for various times and speeds, so getting a basic bike computer to allow you to track average speed and distance would be a good idea if you go that way.<br />
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Barring that, walking is low-impact and doesn't require much special equipment.<br />
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In any case, it'd be good to find something you enjoyed doing compatible with your medical condition. Exercise that you have to force yourself to do eventually stops being done.

I feel your pain, honey, cause whether its 50 lbs as in my case or more, losing weight and maintaining an ideal weight is Very difficult. However, you've proven once to yourself that YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN! I'm cheering for you right now on your journey ahead. There has been some articles on internet about meds called acai that I am considering trying. Look into it, research the facts and let me know if you decide to try it too. Best wishes! Hugs of encourgement are sent your way!!!