Someone To Love Me

I looked back over my life only to realize that I have never been truly loved. My past relationships were either based on sex or finance. And I was the one who paid to have him around. I knew deep down inside he did not care, he was just there for the sex and whatever else he could get. I just did not want to be alone, I just wanted someone to love me. I am older now and I just decide that I will not buy love anymore so I will be alone, but inside I cry. I am so lonely. I have prayed and ask God why cant I have someone. I thought there was someone for everyone, but more and more I am believing that he did not make anyone for me. I am at the point where I could just go somewhere and die. It hurts and hurts. I cannot stop this pain I feel inside of me. I just do not understand why God give me all this love that is within me and not give me someone to share it with. I am so scared I will never find that one special person for me. Sometimes I just want to sleep and sleep that is the only time when I am not feeling this pain within me.
wildflower62 wildflower62
46-50, F
4 Responses May 20, 2012

our saddest or very boring moment could be the most important time of this tiny life. love is the power. if u know how to love he/she will. maybe not like u but still 75%. its nature. but dont think u r for nobody. there is an angle waiting for u. i know.... he will come to ur life fast and make u spcial.

Thank you so very much. I totally agree with you.

I was only loved once in my life and I let that go along time ago... because she wanted to get married to me young and I wasn't ready for marrage <br />
but the woman loved me so much. and I have never found anybody to love <br />
me like that. <br />
<br />
Now I really miss it. I miss having somebody to love and somebody who will love <br />
me and I get scared that I am never going to find love again and it sucks. <br />
I think a lot of people are afraid of love > people are afraid that if they start to love somebody that they wil just wind up getting deeply hurt > if it doesn't work out <br />
for the long haul. So I think people just prefer to have sex and party time <br />
but not fall in love. <br />
<br />
In fact that is my theory why so many women are attracted to pla<x>yers and womanizers. They just want a bad boy they can have fun with but they know those guys dont fall in love. Its just about sex for them<br />
So women can mess around with a bad boy and have exciting moments of passion once in a while... then when the guy is messing around with other women <br />
they also like the drama of having that to talk about with their friends and co-workers. But the truth is the whole deal is a replacement for falling deeply in love with a real good man and risking getting hurt if it doesn't work out.

Hello, I understand what you are saying, but I am not going to give up. I am one that still believe in true love, I know relationship takes lots of work, but I feel in the long run it is well worth it all, I do not have time for the games and I am so not into the sex games, at this point and time in my life, I need and require so much more than sex. Give me intimacy, give me the quiet times when we are just holding each other, give me the kiss on my forehead. Having someone through the good/bad times, as long as we have each other, we will make it together. I have no drama and I sure do not want any at this time in my life. I would love to have me someone I can tell my family and friends about, how good he is to me, good for me, how much we have fallen in love with each other. If you desire love again, to fall in love with someone, it can happen, my advice to you is to go for it :)

Yes I agree, love comes at all ages. What is age ?? Dont look for it just wait and see what is comming to you.... And it s comming when you dont think of it... Good luck...ME.

I understand, I have been in a marriage where my wife did not love me as I loved her. The good part is at 54 I have someone who loves me and I her. Love is possible and it is great.