I am 29.. But until now, I cannot truly say that I have fallen madly in love with someone.. Yes, I am married and I may have loved him somewhere in between but I cannot really say that I'm romantically in love, something that I so long for..

I want a love that is passionate, romantic, caring and true.. I want to feel love that has no hesitations, no doubts and no questions...

I want a lover who is also my best friend.. Someone whom I can spend the whole day with just talking and having fun... Someone who I can have not only a physical but also a strong emotional connection with...

There was someone before.. Someone who made me feel this very intense emotion but I lost her to a man.. So it didn't flourish. It was cut short and it was painful. But it's understandable...I accepted it. Since we both know people will not understand... Although I knew at that time, if she asks me I will do anything for her.. I was really hurt and had never felt so lonely.. So I looked for the company of others, of anyone...

I don't even want to think about this part of my life before.. Because she seems happy so that should make me happy too.. But I'm not... And I still long very this one great love...

But I know I should me grateful with what I have... For I know someday that there is still hope for us, my one great love..

purplefreespirit purplefreespirit
31-35, F
1 Response Jul 15, 2014

Do you think that she or you broke it off it doesn't say, but no matter, because of social pressure and not conforming to the standardised view of a couple ie. Man/women not woman/woman...., And what effect on family and or friends or for what they might say or do.... I know it seems a little harsh for me to put it this way but it can be a deciding factor in these kind of situations..... And if you are a still in love with her why did you yourself get married to a man, do you prefer women men or both?

Well I don't know if I am still in love with her coz I said it was cut short.. Or I just dnt want to think about it anymore.. We didn't broke up because we were never together just some sort of mutual understanding and we didn't talk about what we had ever again coz we are still friends.. Well life is complicated and I prefer both..

Hmm so you don't want to think about it but you are clearly bothered with the situation...... Maybe you weren't in love just a lustful or loving relationship albeit a short one but obviously a deeply emotional one for you anyway.... You need to either risk it all and tell her how you feel with the chance of loosing her and your relationship with your husband or put it in a box and put it down to one of life's enjoyable memories and just look back at the moment and smile..... There is the possibility that there could be a ********* or maybe even a foursome with both of yours and your friends husbands....... This is highly unlikely but entirely possible.....

Never the less it is your choice and if you want to do it....... Just be careful and think it through...... You have a lot to loose...... Your husband and your friend and maybe more besides

Haha..I literally laughed at the ********* or foursome idea.. Well, I would just put it as good/not so good memory because there are too many things at stake. And these are things that our society will never understand..

But thanks for the advice and short laugh.. :)

Glad to be of some kind of help purple... At least you can begin to look forwards and make new memories or maybe even begin to rebuild your marriage......? If you can't do that why not pursue you inner self and begin making new friends and lovers who knows.. life is only given not gifted if you want something in life go get it don't live a life that is empty let it overflow and be happy... Buy above all be safe and be yourself

Yes.. thank you for your encouraging words.. I'm now learning that happiness is a choice so I'm choosing to be happy.. :)

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