Lifetime

I am already tired of having friends come and go in my life. I envy some of my friends when I see them still very close friends with the close friends they had in grade school or high school. It is very wonderful and it is very beautiful to see that.

I was once a shy boy in grade school and high school and never had really very close intimate friends even though I really wanted to have one.

In college, I was bullied and then on, my college life has been hell for me even though I was just bullied during my freshman days. It made a negative impact through my whole life in college. I really didn't like my college life. I didn't let anyone know me much more they can know from what they see inside. I kept everything to myself. Then college graduation came and then I accidentally outed myself on facebook by liking a photo of me and my ex-bf. Then everyone knew about my bisexuality and all I did was to hide myself away from them physically and online. No one ever reached out to me or even just texted me how am I going with my life. I was really hurt back then. I came into college life being hurt and get out of my college life being hurt again. I never really wanted my college life. I was always close to death during my college life and no one ever knew that I was close to killing myself. I had always been thinking of suicide before. No one helped me there emotionally and psychologically.

I envy those people who had a very wonderful student life. I never had one.

I had never tried to cry out to a friend. I had never had a friend who told me that he will always be there when I needed help.

But, right now. I had friends whom I met in Shanghai that were always there for me and would always help me and would want the best for me. I never had these kind of friends before and it makes me want to cry for being so happy. I also had this bestfriend of mine whom I think will be my lifetime bestfriend like until we die and he's Japanese and I am very happy that I met him. Although I just don't know what he's reaction will be if I say that I am bisexual.

To all the people out there, treasure your friends if you find them. I find mine after having none for almost my whole lifetime. You will not know their worth until you lost them, so don't let it happen. Make them feel they are special in your lives and treasure them truly.
neo7773 neo7773
22-25, M
Dec 14, 2012