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We Are Social Animals

I would love to make more friends. The only problem is I have never really figured out how to do it and where to meet new people. Weird how some people seem to make friends all the time - I wonder if some people are born lucky / born with social skills :)

 

WyldHoney WyldHoney 31-35, F 28 Responses Mar 28, 2008

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Sum ppl can make friends easyr than others. But if ur not confident ppl will pick up on that . Just be urself and you will be surprised how many ppl respond to u . In a good way and if ur not confident . Just front it

making friends is not hard, i think your problem is you are afraid to be rejected. The best way to make friends is to start a conversation and never forget to smile. :)

have you tried joing social groups? i didnt know anyone when I moved to Birmingham and joined a load of them, took a while but now have some really good mates from attening the events they put on

Well write me and we can chat, I would be your friend.

man is a human being.we must need to respect each other

Maybe I can set a goal for myself like talking to a cashier each time I make a purchase. Anyone else want to try this?

I know what you mean. I'm really horrible at making friends. My social skills are so bad I might as well tattoo 'forever alone' on my forehead. It's a great wonder how I have the few friends I have now. And not only am I terribly inept at small talk, I also despise it. Wouldn't it be nice if we could always engage in deep and interesting conversations, instead of breaking the ice with the weather? That would be my kind of world. haha

people come people go its part of life and to be live but i really dont like being alone, it taught me to love my self and stay away from bad stuff, people should understand that frienship is not like the reallity tv shows

sometimes I think it's like being a piece of jigsaw in the right or wrong puzzle..... when you find the people you "belong" and connect with, it begins to fit and fall into place. being preapred to go out and take risks, talk to and with people and listen...... will broaden the possibilities. and yeah., find activities, places where others will share similar perspectives and interests. first and foremost be own best friend... Polly M

I used to have problems making friends in high school. I think it was mainly cause i was too busy for them. I had a few more responsibilities than most. But everything is good now. I'll be your friend.

I have the same problem. It seems i try to hard to make friends and just dont know how to go about making them.

I have the same problem :S and even worse , I've just lost my best friend ! <br />
So why don't we just disregard "how " and be friends ? :)

I know how you feel. I'm one of the very shy people reading your comment, and I've been like this since I was a child. Extremely introverted... My parents were both introverted, but found each other. So it makes sense that I came out very shy I suppose. Good luck

That's pretty interesting and informative. But, I just now realized that all the social skills in the world, which I am not lacking, does not seem to matter when it comes to having true friends. My social skills are bounded by the open-honesty code, but even that does not necessarily drive the true friendship level up very far, perhaps it even stiffles it. I am now wondering if there are people that want a truly intimate (personally honest) friendship these days, of if that is what scares folk. Whatever. Its just a thought, one of the few I have remaining.

hi wyildhoney read your comments and saw your pic very nice check my pics blondie55

be friendly, loyal and interested in others, without exception <br />
you will be the most popular person to both men and women <br />
trust me <br />
m

Wish i was in London

I must confess that I have ONE ture friend, know him for 14 years. I know he will always be there for me. Stresses me sometimes, but, well... Just done his house work, well will in a moment, and he unertsnads me.. <br />
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But, going out... ah... hope, last time i met someone (dateing) was 4 years ago, and that was just by chance...<br />
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well, anyone in london what to chatch up, and well be shy... let me know.. ;-)

Let me give you a hint. Don't be afraid of what people think of you. Be confident. Practice by saying hello to as many people as you can. I started saying hi just to anybody that walks my path. I smile if they don't smile back then carry on. But if you practice with the cashiers, waitresses/waiters, and so on it becomes easier because you don't know these people so it shouldn't matter if they say it back or not. Just try. Set goals for yourself. Before you know it you'll be making conversation with strangers that intrigue you.

I can relate. While I have definitely taken strides forward over the years in this department (I was a VERY shy little boy), I have a significant degree of dissatisfaction with my social life. I have some good friends and a close relationship with my wife, but it always seems to me that other people make friends more readily than I do. Interestingly, it recently occurred to me that this seems to hold true for online forums, too. I tend to browse here and there (such as certain themed forums related to hobbies), whereas other (more sociable?) folks seem to have more personal connections to fellow forum members. I think that it would behoove me to try to shift to doing that, but I find it difficult to keep up the pace with various forums. I haven't really delved deep into this Experience Project yet (there is so much to read and I jump around), but think that I will do so.<br />
Wanna be my friend?

I HAVE THE SAME PROBLE I REALLY KNOW WHAT U R SAYING I FEEL THESAME WAY I LOVE FREINDS SO MUCH BUT I DONT HAVE ANY I TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS IN INTERT BUT I FEEL THAT I AM MAKING FREIEND WITH MACHINE COS IT IS NOT EASY TO MEET THEM WITH OUT CP<br />
ANY WAY I FEEL SO LONLY NOWWW

I am far from an expert. But my father in law was exceptional at social skills. He was always interested in the other person he would just ask them general questions about themselves, then go with the conversation as it develpoed but always keeping them at the center. People love yo talk about themselves.<br />
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I actually can do well at an event talking to people. Mt problem is I find few I think I would like talking to another time. Guess I am a little picky and when I do find such people I seldom follow through. So I have few friends because I don't do the work. My new goal is to change this behavior.

i have really good social skills, i think one of the best the best things to do is to make people feel relaxed around you like they can say anything and you won't freak out, alot of this comes from relaxing yourself. you can sense when somone is nervouse or tense and remember that others can sense that in you. a little secret for yall that really honed me in too is a couple books-they are kinda hard to read but you will notice them workin at about 150-200pgs-and i wouldn't tell anybody else that your are reading them or that they exist...The 48 Laws of power and The art of seduction by Robert Green..as soon as i saw the power i cut off the cover and the spine so noone knew what i was reading

I don't think we're born with social skills, but we're probably born with varying levels of ability to learn them. This might be in part why some people acquire social skills quicker than others. Also, the development of social skills is influenced by other people within the surrounding environment, such as caregivers and peers. Telling a child that he's dumb all his life will break down his social skills, regardless of what he was born with.

Small talk is BORING; shouldn't talk politics, religion or sex which leaves weather (lovely out, isn't it......supposed to rain tomorrow), fashion (did you SEE what she's wearing.....his socks don't match) and current events (my dear, oh how AWful!!) Bored yet? I'm boring mySELF!! Have the 'For Dummies' people written a party chat book yet? 'Cause I need it!!<br />
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Best way I've found is to go someplace where people are engaging in an interest that you can share or learn to share, sports on television is good for creating commonality, and if you don't know the sport, find someone willing to explain it to you, then cheer for whichever team they're cheering for, trivia games, pool or billiards, darts (if you don't know how, someone is often willing to teach you), giving you both a conversational opening. Then ask them about themselves, their work, their family (and pay attention). Lots of people LOVE to talk about themselves, especially with a little alcoholic lubrication.<br />
<br />
Just a thought.

ya would like the book that explains how to...

Well, I think social skills can be learned. No one is born with smarts. You have worked hard in order to be smart. Social skills can be learned. Some people are better talking to others and others have to work to talk with others. The more you talk to others the more social skills you get. <br />
Just try to learned to be sociable.

I know exactly how you feel.I suck at making friends,mainly because I just don't know how to talk to people. I am really bad at starting conversations and at small talk in general.I think you are right about some people just being born with social skills.