How Stupid Of Me.

**** that lets be long time friends. :)

I understand what you're saying. PPL find me "weird " or too intense.

Apart from the recently sent rubber duck, I've never spoken to you, but from the couple of stories I've read so far, my plans tonight have changed from watching Naruto, to reading the rest of them. I understand this story and have felt the same things.

You shouldn't be the only one doing anything, friendship is just like a relationship it goes both ways. Both sides have to put in equal effort to keep it going. Shame on them, you sound like a great person.

I am so sorry you found that ,but I am afraid thats life alot of the time .My actual friends are few and aquantances are many .I am here for anyone who needs a friend in the good times and the bad and will help if I can .I am happy to listen ,be your sounding board and a shoulder to cry on if you need one .I am broadminded and wont judge ,theres not alot that shocks me .I have yahoo messenger and skype if you want to chat .I dont bite .okay .

It's definitely a two way street. I clean out my closet regularly. We communicate or we don't.

But it all begins with a, "Hello" and it goes from there....

I have felt the same dismay that others do not return my 'friendliness'.
Maybe you care too much about others. After all my years of finding and losing friends, I am now not so keen to call anyone a friend, unreliable as they are.

I feel that I have invested too much energy in trying to maintain friendships beyond their 'expiry date'. I don't bother any more.

I probably depend most on music to keep my sanity in a world where people are increasingly separated from physical contact by machines, schedules, and corporate brainwashing.

It is hard to live an authentic life in this consumerist world. But we can get closer to nature with a bit of effort.

Proper nutrition and exercise are essential to getting and staying happy.
Even though it is nice to exchange ideas here at EP, that's no substitute for physical contact.

However, it's also possible to survive even if locked in solitary confinement.
We humans are also pretty tough, despite our fragile emotions.
Cheers.

It's hard because friendships require an investment. At the beginning it is fun to invest in that relationship. In some friendships the fun continues on almost indefinitely, but in others you hit a point where you know each other pretty well and then, for whatever reason, it's not as fun anymore. Usually, you end up just drifting away from each other.
You wrote, "so many people can never take me when I'm at my worst." Just curious, do you think there is anything you do when you are at your worst that would make them feel bad about themselves or make them feel like you don't like them? Maybe it's something unintentional that your friends are taking the wrong way?
You're right though -- a true friend would stick around to work it out. Don't give up. You will find a true friend here. I'm rooting for you.

No Expectations = No Disappointments

Did you hear that somewhere? I know I've heard it somewhere. I live by the same rule, yet I bend it a bit, because if you don't work toward something, you'll never get it, only thing is, I don't always expect it to go well.

You just need to run into other people, then again, we are all selfish and at one point or another we will not be there for a friend for a selfish reason. Friends also work through those times. I do agree with you though, to be there at your worst. Not everyone feels like they need to be, that's their problem. Don't let people get to you.

Your last sentence is an undeniable truth. And I am sorry that those you've encountered have been, for all intents and purposes, fair weather friends at best. Sadly, I am one of those "serious" people on EP I just saw you complaining about, otherwise, I'd be more than happy to trade banter and be social. See, I'm used to the OTHER person walking away, not me... usually because they no longer have need of my skills or talents. So, I understand where you are coming from, however, I do not let this discourage me any less. My door is always open, my shoulder and ear are always ready for use.

I see so many people who are convinced that the shortcomings of humanity define it, and I adamantly argue the exact opposite. As of today, I've been doing this for 46 years. I will not stop now.

I know how this feels. I guess I have somehow given up.

Anyway there are some good people out there that you would meet down the line. I think building friendship just comes out of the blue. Something that isn't planned out right or forced. I think that is the secret to it...

Ditto that. Well said, I think I've found maybe two real friends on here in a little over a month.

Hey, not everyone here will see you as their backup plan or person!! If you need a friend for both the good and bad times I can be there for you if you want! You were not stupid just did not connect to just the right people only!

It's sad but it seems almost EVERYBODY is "in it" for what they can get (out of a friendship)... BOTTOM line.
And when I say "get" I refer to charisma and that subtle interplay of feeling (energy) that bounces between people when they interact.
I have a theory that there is a very real (but subtle) energy exchange involved in interpersonal relationships.
And that we all project to and draw in from others.
And indulging this theory a little for the sake of making my point..,. its easy to see how needy people have energy defects and so don't have anything to offer anyone...
(or they have little or no charisma)
I really feel its tied into your level of confidence...
I don't have a lot be occasionally I can almost accidentally acquire some for a short period and the results are spectacular...

Exactly how I feel! But worst because it happens with my friends in real life, I feel like their life is so perfect at the point when mine is not that I feel like I bother them if I want to talk about my problems, they don't even ask! But when mr.duchebag acts like a jerk, I'm here for them, & their parents are fighting I'm here for them. 25/8, I'm here. I just wish I had one real friend. Even online only idc

I feel like this a lot. There are maybe three people who ever actively get in touch with me, rather than vice versa. And since all my friendships right now are long-distance ones, that's particularly noticeable. I've just got used to going much longer between socialising than I used to... it feels positively weird that I used to see some people every single day.

I understand how you feel. I am the same way when it comes to friends. I don't need a ton of a friends just a few. Friendship is a two way street. Understanding, communication and loyality is the key. We all have different lives to live. Some walk a stray and others end up on the other side of the world. Know that it is not you. Or anything you have done. Golden rule is do unto other which you would want done to you. If they can't or won't be there for you then they aren't really worth your time. If you willing know or see then yes countiune the relationship but have no expectations on what they will provide.You can let a friend load off & vent but don't let them drag or drain you. Learning boundaries is a huge key for success. If you feel that you aren't getting the same treatment, then just detach. Don't detach from the rest of us that really do want to give back :) Hope that makes sense! Hugs to you! <3

I love your post because it is exactly how I feel. The beauty about people like us is that once we accept our curse as a gift then we don't think about it as much and we realize what we do is for the empowerment of our soul. Good people like you have an eternal light, keep it shining

I hope that you don't consider me one of those EP friends who just fling you aside like you don't matter, because you do matter. You and I are in the same boat my friend and I too have always been the " occasional friend" that people off load on. I don't mind to a point, but I will openly admit that I tend to keep my distance from people.

I too have been hurt way too many times to be so open anymore. I've learned to not take everything so personally because I always got hurt in the end. My philosophy is this, " Some times you just got let go of all your expectations and go with the flow."

Ever since I adopted this new philosophy of mine I'm learning to let go of my anger, bitterness and am just accepting the fact that people will eventually disappoint you in one way or another. Does that automatically make them a bad person for not liking me? No, because we are all human and we all have flaws.

I'm beginning to also see that there are two sides to every story and that nothing is ever what it appears to be. If that person doesn't have the common decency to write back, call or whatever, then they either don't realize what they are doing or they are just *** holes, in my opinion.

I hope you still consider me friend and if not, then that is your choice. I felt that I should say something because I care enough to do so. I've also been through what you're going through right now.

A.S

T, while I can certainly understand how you feel, I think you're being too hard on yourself. You are an intriguing person and you cause people to be curious about you. An online relationship can be hard because there's still this huge wall up called the internet. Life can be rough because we all have to deal with our own individual situations where we are and we come on here hoping to find a better world. But, people are people. Inherently good, but with plenty of flaws. I hope everything gets better...Miss ya.

I feel ya I had a "friend" like that,not online but just in real life..lol but I was the one that seemed 2 care more about the friendship than he did,maybe it was cause I was desperate 4 friends or a bf and just too clingy and that was a turnoff.The funny thing is even though I can get too clingy around certain people,I don't like people that are like that with me.So maybe these people can just sense that your desperate or needy 4 friends and that makes them not want 2 talk 2 u or it could just be that you don't see their true colors,or they're just not what your looking 4 in a friend and u don't realize that till later cause you're too busy creating in your mind that their what your looking for,are a good friend,to see through that.I duno just a guess,at least 4 me I think that's what happens.

That is true but I guess if you never take a chance then you might never find something special. Obviously hard to convey when you've always been burned in the past, and I understand that. I'm the same way many times. I'm never really anyone's first choice, or at least that's how I feel in life, so why bother? However, I still become drawn to wanting and needing people to talk to so I guess I continue to trust others and open up. Maybe I'm foolish, maybe not, but it's how I've chosen to look at it right now.

i completely understand what you mean when you say you feel like a plan B. i have very few friends and i feel like the ones that i have don't really understand me (that sounds so cliched) and that i cant be completely myself around them. i feel like there is always someone better or more enjoyable than me that my friends could spend time with because i see them laugh more and talk more with other people because i'm a person of few words. usually they only really start talking to me when there is no one else around to hang out with...it really makes a guy feel like a last resort.

story of my life, except in real life not online. Online I don't even pay attention to anyone... nothing seems real to me on here.. but sorry that you have to go through this online, you would think that the internet would be friendlier than the real world

"It was only a one way thing; they were my friends, but I wasn't theirs".... that is why I stick to my communications rule.... friendship is a two way conversation!

That may not necessary be the case. Perhaps those 2 people you mentioned just happened to know other friends longer here, it's only natural they would make them the priority. Internet chatting, or indeed SMS exchanging IMO is very easy to cause misunderstandings. Because unlike meeting in real life, we can't read the tone, emotion and body language of the person we are talking to.



But the key thing here is - you seem to be a girl who's lacking of self confidence. Don't sell yourself short. If you have shortcomings, other people have their share too. They probably hide them better than you, but that doesn't make you inferior than them.

hello. that is so sad (:. i think it is difficult on ep because people are on and off and then sometimes go away for a while. as a result it can be difficult to establish and then maintain an ongoing friendship. i think you are partly right about expectations. it is about managing expectations, not having none.

I feel the same way a lot of times. Actually almost all the time. I don't let it get me down much anymore since I'm more comfortable with doing most things alone in a way that isn't as pathetic as it may seem. ha. I wonder what would happen if two people in this position were friends? Would one of them start neglecting the other or would it actually work out like you would think? Check out the movie Lonely Guy with Steve Martin. It's more about being single but a lot of the lonely jokes hit home in a funny way.

Interesting post. While I don't have much to say here, I think that there are possibly some people on here that probably went above your expectations.

And I wish you luck in regarding that.

I feel the exact same way at times. I was friends with someone for almost 8 years. We were pretty young when we met, so actually being there for one another was pretty trivial at first. The years went by, and we pretty much lost touch, except when she was having boyfriend/family/school issues. I started to notice a pattern. She would use me as a soundboard, but then discard me. I even attempted to go to her once, and she totally blew me off. She wasn't the last person to behave this way towards me; this is a reoccurring theme in my life. I can't help but blame myself, and my personality.