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Seriously Need A Good Friend

In all my 22 years of living so far, which yes I know is young, I still yet have the blessing to find a long lasting friend. Many of my encounters have only lasted no longer than 3 years.


My problem is I simply have not a single friend anymore nearby who makes those fun good memories of hanging out together and living life to the fullest. I can't stand going out in society alone, for I can be quite shy at first until I feel comfortable enough to open up. I sadly just end up going to work now day after day, coming home then reside to myself with my family only. My family while I cherish them deeply, can only bring forth so much which I know I need to expand out into the word. I simply do not know how to do that now.

I am told to go to events, or to try at work but it is not that simple for me. People I have met simply just don't click or hold interest in getting to know me for who I am. I really am a good person at heart, still taking pride I am even saving myself for that special someone (for now I just want a friend). My work has people too old or those my age are in the party goer social life. I cannot open up easily just like that to people I do not know, for I am easily sensitive from being judged. My Church is too old fashion, barely any youth members attend there. My biggest mistake was leaving my college, which now I am stuck with a lot of debt and cannot go back. I have deleted my Face book due to being sick of neglect from such a past for I don't get why must I always make an effort to stay in contact? Surely if any friend out there wanted to care about me, they would try from time to time too. I noticed that if I go on without saying anything, people will hardly notice me ever at all. What I mean by this is I'm always the one sending out the letters, but I never get a letter in return or out of surprise.

Having a friend would do many beneficial things for me...for starters motivate me to enjoy life again. I feel like I've fallen into a depression cycle where I just don't feel the energy for living or trying things my hardest which I know I can do, but don't due to having nearly no support or encouragement to make me want to achieve. It is really sad, and I hate when I end up lashing out towards those who simply just do not understand how lonely I feel.

"He's a great guy" "Very handsome and bright" "Such a good hard worker" "Polite and wonderful" I hear all these praises all the time, but I gotta ask...if I'm so good why do I struggle to find satisfying friends? I find a relationship to be impossible at this point so I won't discuss much there, for I cannot even find a decent good friendship to start with. While people outside see me as "happy", inside I feel cursed with this lonely life.

I have lost sight in simply where to start or what to do now, starting over, with 0 friendships...thing is, I don't need many, I would be eternally grateful to have just even 1 for the remainder of my lifetime.


Ok whew, that's it for now. Long I know, but I've kept to myself for all this time about things like this (hence why I am here).

 

POST UPDATE


So now I look back on this story, and see how clouded my mind really was on what I desired. While it is true I seek a friend, it wasn't the real need I was looking for. That answer has been found thank to the stars, which is opening many doors of potential for more. I know the day will come I will find these wonderful friends I strive for in reality. Having friends online, just a few not many, is great too for everybody counts. Things like Facebook I certainly don't need to find social connection. I look forward now to working hard, enjoy my life, and do the best I can for myself until those others I seek come forth within my story.

Sygil Sygil 22-25, M 3 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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Hi Sygil, try a public speaking course probably? Not that I know if this would help, but anyway supposed to give you good tool when around people. Recently I also read a book by Larry King, something about talking to anybody, anywhere, anytime. Give a try?

Thanks for your reply, and I know that is the sad fact with society now. It's all about the cyber world and digital convience over the true heartfelt form of human connection. I've been raised a bit old fashioned where as I like techonolgy, but I don't want it being my only means of a social life. It's like I prefer to play video games next to another person rather than just let the online wifi world do the connecting. Most of these people you will never actually meet or get to know anyways. I am tired of having only friends in this area of connection now. I want "reality".



It's hard, but I hope someday I can at least share a good reality once again with someone.

Sorry about your loneliness. I hear what you say. I've had the same experience with facebook, where you reach out but no one really reaches out to you in return. That says something about people, but maybe more about the way we are as a society today.

Just this year I noticed most Christmas cards have been diminishing at my home but facebook and other social "mass media" mailngs went out to everyone on a friends lists. This is now in place to what a hand written card, addressed to a specific person/family did for so many years. What I'm saying is technology has made us more distant in some ways and is probably one of the reasons you are having a hard time finding that special friend you are seeking. I can offer only this as an small possible explanation to what you and I seem to have in common.

My best goes out to you in your search. Don't let this get you down and simply go with the flow. I know, easier said than done but beating yourself over this won't help any, but keep you down.



Good luck