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Out To Family But I Can't Seem To Make Gay Friends

I have just turned 33 and I live in the north west of England. I had known I was gay from about the age of 14 and had my first gay experience when I was 15 with a guy in my glass at school. It was a on our way home from school, and we took a short cut across some fields, where we ended up kissing which lead to more.

That was my only experience until I was 23 as I used to fight my feelings towards men. I guess you could say I was trying to deny that I was gay, which was very difficult. When I was 23 I met a guy in a bar and we started seeing each other, as I was not out I kept the relationship a secret but this had a strain on the relationship with the guy I had met as he wanted everyone to know about us being together. We ended up rowing all the time and eventually split.

A few months after I was sat in my parents living room, and my mum just asked me if I was gay. Which I just burst out crying and said yes. She was great and the day after I asked what made her ask me. She said because she had never seen me dating girls. She ended up telling my dad which I was so scared, but he was great too. Sadly my dad passed away the year after, but it gave me comfort knowing that he knew the truth about me before he died.

I have straight friends, but they are very homophobic and I hate them for this, and I can not tell them about me. Well part of me says I should and if the reject me they are not true friends, but the problem is the town I live is small and there are a lot of anti gay people, and I am concerned of my family getting hurt my these small minded people,

I have tried for ages to make gay friends, I have been to bars, tried finding people online, so I guess I have joined this site in the hope of making some on here, both from the UK and from other countries. I mean you don't have to see the person to be friends, just someone to talk to from time to time.

Well that is my story, I am sorry I have gone on a little, and if you have got this far I thank you for reading it.





sscoobiestu sscoobiestu 31-35, M 11 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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Hey I'll be your friend.

Be strong there are a lot like US, it's difficult but it's our life,we should be able to choose

Hope you find someone who is right for you don't rush life is too short

If you are looking for a friend well I got one just right here I can be your friend

u r so lucky that u know that gay term i didnot know it after all my parents dont know that or i think know and refuge that their son is a gay and i have to pay for that . i 32 yers and i m married my life is spoiled. i love my wife but i m not satisfy with my marriage life i m in depreciation
u talk to me and tell me that m i gay or what

Well done! Living in a small village in the most northern chunk of the north west I know what you mean. I think it helps to have people on your side around you.

If your friends treat you any differently because of your sexuality then they probably aren't true friends at all.

You have done the hard bit, which is being honest to yourself and family and i can assure you there are gay people in virtually every village, town and city in the NW.

Anytime you want to chat drop me a line :)

i feel bad for you, it took me a long coming to terms about myself. i came out as a teen to some but went back in the closet so to say a few years later. i have come out to the world now, lost many friends but have been making new ones all the time now.

i thought the hardest part would be the guys i work with giving me hell but they are cool with it, they razz me about it now and then but never say anything hurtful to me.

well if you ever need someone to talk with just message me.

True friends take time to make. But hopefully they will be worth it. and you are right, if your friends reject you for being gay, you do not need them in your life.

Don't feel so lonely, as I feel for you. I live in London, although I am not originally from the UK. If you just need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. There's probably not much I can help, but just talking to someone can lift some burdens off your shoulder.

That's a shame you can't make gay friends there I really feel for you. It took me many years of trying and I have slowly gotten some friends. I don't know how it is in the UK but of if it is like here there are so many gay people deep in the closet so they are hard to find.

Its just difficult being in a small town where gay people are not accepted. My plan is to save up so I can move to the city