Well this is going to be difficult but necessary. I am a bi-curious man who until recently was secure in his heterosexuality. I have discovered that I have an attraction to some men. It was a shock to me, after all I'm not a young man. I found myself thinking about kissing this guy that I had met. I found myself aroused by this thought. I'll admit at first it freaked me out, but as I came to accept it, somethings about myself made more sense. I have thought about having sex with a man before, but more from a scientific point of view, rather then from desire. I have a strong feminine side, I always have. Some people have thought I was gay anyways. That never bothered me. I have never had any problem with homosexuality. In fact I took it as a compliment in some cases, in others is was not intended to be nice anyways. I never thought much about it till the before mentioned incident. Now I find myself at a cross roads, I still have that question lurking over me. What am I? Am I bi-sexual? Well since I have never been with a man I can't really say I am. Am I homosexual? I know that's not true because I love women way too much. I guess that leaves me as bi-curious. OK to the point of joining this group. I'm not looking for sex, a relationship, but I am looking for friends. I have had gay friends before in the past and have enjoy their company. I lived with a friend of mine who was gay and I never thought much about it. He was an old friend who was kind enough to help me out in a time of need. So, here I am now asking for someone who would like to help out a fellow man, who's sexuality is in question. I could use a friend right now who has gone though this before. I would like to know how you handled it, the way you felt, ect... I would be grateful for the help.

lonesomeloser66 lonesomeloser66
41-45, M
5 Responses Jun 7, 2009

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Hello! First I have to say that I'm not bi. I'm gay although I have had experience with women it was more to convince myself that I wasn't gay. But, I do have some experience with bi-men. My ex is bi. A lot of gay guys believe that bi-men are just confused and use the term bi to fool themselves but that is just stupidity. Kinsey said long ago that sexuality is a continuum and that most men are not on either of the extremes but somewhere in between. But there are bi men out there and the easiest ones to find are on craigslist. But those guys are usually married and looking for a sexual release. They are not trying to bridge an emotional attachment. I just want to say I wish you well and good luck and that you are not alone.

I know the feeling....I was very attracted to my instructor in college. I found out my second yr he was gay, but the first year i was head over heels for him. hmmm did i always know i was bi or just finding out. things i did in high school would say yes, but i moved on after that. now im wanting to be with a man more and more. yes quite a delima i can relate with. good luck to you

I just recently joined. You can read my stories so that you see where I come from. Good luck!

I think its in human nature to want to control and label things . thats why when things seem out of hand or just weird we tend to have a negative reaction. Your freaked out because you can't understand why is it that you have these toughts now that your in your 40's and not when you were younger , My advice would be to go talk to your gay friend maybe he can help you and maybe with his help you can find a nice guy and experience things with him. I dont know if your married tought or if you have kids, if you do it might be a bit harder for you since your entourage might not understand. <br />
anyways add me if you need to talk.