Why Can I Not Be Enough?

I feel so lost I just want to cry. I know he wronged me but he flat out lies an that makes it harder to let go.
I love him like no other an I have never spoke, flirted, or cheated on him.
I try my best to make him happy an it is never right cuz if it was he would show it more.
I love him an only him, he is all I want but I feel like I am dieing inside cuz even though I know he loves me, he has hurt me an I am so afraid he will again.
I was so happy when we started out. N believed him when he sd he didn't nothing. Then changed the story n I believed him because I had to for my own heart. Then I got a gut feeling n was right n he promised I am all he wants n again I believe him cuz he has my heart. Then time where no physical but the last time I am sure there was. as much as I want to believe him an am trying my best to my heart knows the truth cuz his story kept changing. But I am trying to let it go too cuz he has my heart.
I dnt know what he thinks when I try to talk to him cuz he just gets mad when all I want it for him to hug me tell me the truth say he's sorry n just love me n only me..... Why is it so hard for a man to love just me?
All I know is if it ever happens again. I am done cuz my heart will be a million pieces. N I will never love again it just hurts to much n is not worth the risk of feeling all this pain I have inside me.
Curvygurl Curvygurl
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 23, 2011

I feel your pain