My Story

I finally feel like things are coming together for me. I still feel sad at times and miss my John, but things are different now. Things have changed. I've changed. My life has changed. I don't know if it's good or not, but I am finally finding myself happy more often. With all the good feelings I've had over the last couple of days with the snowfall that I hadn't seen in years and just a general good feeling.....My 12 year old son asked me this morning, "Mom, how come you don't laugh anymore?"

It's a question that gave me pause. I couldn't answer him, because I was afraid of opening old wounds. I guess I do owe the kids an explanation, but now is not the time. I'm not ready to open that can of worms. I'm ......happy  right now as I am. I am experiencing many changes and it's been hard getting used to them. I've just gotten used to sleeping alone again.....well, not quite.  I still have to wean myself from the pile of laundry I keep on one side of the bed so it doesn't seem so big. People say that after losing someone it gets better with time. That's not entirely true. Things don't get better, they change. When you learn to live with that change, then it gets better. I'm learning, finally, to live with the change.

That's my story ......

theredlady theredlady
41-45, F
8 Responses Feb 12, 2010

Thank you Shawn I will look at it. I appreciate your help and concern. :)

Hi there, I would like to share something with that helped me. This can and will change your life. I like to look at as gift from God. The information and knowledge that is available at life-educationcenter Dot com has change my life. I suffered from depression myself. I would like to share this information with the world as I believe everyone should know and understand this. <br />
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I hope this helps Take Care Shawn..

Thanks SR.... I wish I'd written more but I tend to get a mental void when I venture too deep into my personal stuff. So I'm glad it has been well received so far.

Wow this was really well written darling. You are strong and wise beyond words. I'm glad that you are happy and the you're respecting your limitations. I wish you all the best in the world Red *hugs tight*

Thank you for your compliment and for reading. Blessings to you as well.

"When you learn to live with that change, then it gets better." Wise words. Thank you for sharing with us. Blessings, D.

I'm taking carnations. Pink ones. They were his favorites. Good to see you again Iusedto.

I know what you mean. I am healing too, but still wouldn't call myself happy. We were married on Valentine's Day so this Sunday I will bring flowers. She liked daisies.