Is It Impossible?

To find someone who shares my faith in Jesus but also treasures their sexuality and passions as a gift from God? I can understand having boundaries. I can understand waiting till marriage.

What I can't understand is how it seems as though so many couples, even in a serious relationship, are dramatically different in their expectations and goals regarding sex and in marriage, it's often not treated as important or cultivated and worked on together.

Is it so much to ask for a wife that will love me, enjoy romance, but also want me a lot? To try a new position, go streaking around the house, or cuddle me in the nude just because it feels good to be together? To have regular, passionate sex that gets better with time?

I'm not looking to love or marry FOR sex. But I believe healthy intimacy is a natural byproduct of a good, dedicated romantic relationship. And I long for it with all my heart.

bluecrystal bluecrystal
26-30
7 Responses Feb 17, 2009

Well, the Bible certainly does preach against PRE-MARITAL sex, but no where does it say that pre-marital sex will cost you your relationship with God. God is not gonna send you to hell if you have sex before you marry (however, this is obviously not an excuse to do it).<br />
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However, as for what is and what isn't okay in terms of sex, pre-marital (also extra-marital) sex is the only thing in sc<x>ripture that I have found to be discouraged. I have seen nothing at all that forbids oral sex or anal sex, as long as both partners are okay with it. Personally, I'm of the opinion that anything goes, as long as it's with your spouse, and as long as it's something both parties are in agreement about doing.<br />
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To answer your question about the possibility of finding a good Christian woman who can appreciate her sexuality and with whom you can have a healthy sex life with, I can say from personal experience -- as a fellow Christian who is married to a Christian woman -- that the answer is YES! There is definitely someone out there for you who's attitudes toward sex are fairly compatible with yours. My own wife has a very healthy outlook on sex, and she has said that most of her female friends are the same way about it. So, there's definitely someone out there for you. I hope, for your sake, that you find that special someone. Good luck with everything, man!

Sex is chemistry and love is commitment.<br />
Unfortunatly this is not discussed in churches.<br />
So many pastors and priests are not qualified to preach on relationships because they cant understand that human sexuality is natural and good in all its forms.<br />
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Go have sex with someone who really knows how to enjoy it....you will not go to hell..!

I hope you find what you're looking for. I totally understand your question because this is something I worry about myself, but I guess since both of us are looking for the same thing then this isn't impossible!

youll find it and i hope things go your way!

I kind of agree with my friend Lazarus, but my man believes in God and loves sex. Maybe I'm lucky.<br />
*hug*

I think "Christian comfortable with their sexuality" is an oxymoron... Atheist for me please, every time!<br />
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Religion is designed to take control of sex and reduce it to making babies for the church.<br />
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It's no good them indoctrinating you about a fictitious heaven with promises of "It'll be better after you're dead!" if you can make you're own paradise under the duvet every night. <br />
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Touching another human of the same sex = hell.<br />
Touching yourself = hell.<br />
Touching someone without sanction of the church = hell.<br />
Using your mouth to make someone feel wonderful = hell.<br />
Using a different hole = hell.<br />
Stopping yourself becoming Octomum = hell.<br />
Trying a different position = hell.<br />
Making love where others can see = hell.<br />
Enjoying more than one lover at a time = hell.<br />
Enjoying it period = hell.<br />
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Doesn't leave a lot of leeway does it?

My sympathies. I'm married to someone who is not comfortable with his sexuality. It's a shame because he's got everything a woman would want, but he's a prude! He likes sex well enough, but he can't talk about it without embarrassment. And he married me? The person who gets flustered over almost nothing? You'd think I'd have rubbed off on him by now, but...