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Lets Wait He Says..

me and my solider have been together for a year and half. we are in love.. he is deploying for a year in afgan... in august.. i really want to marry him i want him to ask me the ? so so bad.. we have had the talk many times over about it he befor he went to boot camp during and after.. and now that hes deploying hes saying babe lets wait till i come home in a year.. i dunno if im gunna change or what if  you cant handle it pshh i kno i can im strong.. ugh but hes afraid hes told me that i am going to leave himor send him a "dear john" letter telling him i dont wanna be apart of the life style hes chose for him self.. ughhh. i just want him to pop the sang question.. has any one been where i am at?? any advice?
soldiersgirl33 soldiersgirl33 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 2, 2010

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I was actually going to say the same thing asProdArmyGirl about the test. Marriage is hard on guys as it is and with this deployment (I'm assuming its the first one hes been on since you two have been together) he probably wants to make sure that you are going to stick with him no matter what. He probably wants to make sure of his own feelings as well.<br />
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So just hang in there, and show him that you love him and will always be there for him.

Hi, soldiersgirl33. Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. I've been with my soldier for 1.5 years now. When my soldier broke the news to me that he was deploying to Iraq last year, I was devestated, yet I knew that somehow, someway we'd make it through. The discussion of marriage arose and I really wanted him to ask me before he left. He told me that being a military spouse meant receiving benefits when he was gone, yet he wasn't sure if it was the correct decision because he was deploying in just a few months and he didn't think there was enough time to arrange a ceremony. I really just wanted to be his wife. I knew I wanted a beautiful, traditional ceremony, but if I could be his wife ASAP, I would deal with not having my dream wedding. Well, he didn't propose and we didn't get married...yet. The Iraq deployment has come and gone, and so have SOOO many other military separations, and here we are, still a couple, still a team, still VERY much in love. Marriage will come soon, I'm sure, as our relationship progresses. But I think what you need to realize here is that marriage is NOT the main focus right now. It's about being there for him, and he needs to know that you will stick through him, through good times AND bad before he knows that you are wife material. This deployment is a test of your relationship. It will test your patience, trust, and love. When the deployment is over and he sees that you are still there, by his side, then that will further show him that you are the pefect woamn for him. Hard situations like deployments bring out the best and worst in people. This will show him if you are the one for him or not, that's why he has not made that hughe step towards marriage yet. It's okay, though. Just do what you do: love him, support him 100%, worry about him, and spoil him as much as you can before he leaves. And don't forget to send him letters everyday (if you can) with pictures of you guys and care packages full of his favorites. Marriage will come in time. For now, just live in the now and don't rush things. I promise you'll be happy that you did. Good luck, my friend!