How Soon Is Too Soon?

Well, Chase and I are both 18 and have been dating for a year.
When he gets back from AIT in November, it'll be almost a year & a half since we started dating. When he gets back, we will be moving in together and starting college 1 month later.
We've talked about getting engaged after we're both 19 and have some college out of the way. Also, we wouldn't actually get MARRIED until we're about 21-23 and have our careers started. Everyone in the family that I mention it to (besides my sister-in-law) says it is a bad idea and thinks we are waaay too young.
Yes, 19 is a young age to be getting that serious. But I wouldn't be getting married at 19. They also say things like "if you don't plan to actually get married for a few years, why get engaged?" and I tell them the truth. "I want to be engaged for a few years before getting married. I don't see why not."
Then there's always that ONE person that thinks I shouldn't marry him just because he is my first love and I haven't "been around the block" or "tested the waters" yet.
No one in my family has been in my position, dating a soldier and all. It's not the same as dating a civilian. Whenever you already know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and then suddenly they have chances of being deployed, why not go for it?
BUT. I'm big on having my mom's approval before getting engaged, so I expect Chase to ask. All of it still worries me, though. I don't want to get frowned upon by everyone in my family for being an engaged teenager.
What do you think, is 19 too young to be engaged? Should I ignore everyone else?
If you've gone through something similar, I want to hear your experience. Thanks!
jordancromer jordancromer
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 31, 2012

well, you know i kinda have the same problem as you (: no one really approves of me wanting to be engaged. but when i really think about it, it means more than just the first step to marriage. the engagement means that we want to commit ourselves to each other forever. we want to be with each other, and our relationship is now a lot more serious. the engagement signifies commitment to one person, because even if i dont want to marry him when I'm 18 or even 20, if he gets deployed before we get married, i want to say that I am engaged to him. even if i knew that he could die while overseas, i want to be able to say that i want to marry him anyway and i am not going to run away from him because of that. that is how i look at engagement. and im with you, i dont want to actually get married for a few years, but i do know that i want to be engaged and i know that he is going to ask me when he comes back from basic (:

My boyfriend and I are also thinking about marriage and I'm only 18 and he's 19. We would only get it on paper then have a big wedding later but same thing everyone says we're too young and people change and all that. But I think if you want to go for its ultimately your decision. And I also want my families approval but I know not everyone would approve but you have to do what you think is best and what you know can work. Hope it works out! :)

Thank you, I really hope it works out for the two of you as well!
It just sucks when people are like, "that's a terrible idea, you're so young." when really, there's people much older getting married then divorced, I don't think age should have anything to do with it. People who get married young aren't the only ones with some failed marriages, and they don't all fail. So at this point, I think I'm just gonna go with my heart. :)

Yeah it really just depends on the kind of relationship you have in the marriage not the age at which you get married at. And thanks I hope it does too. It's hard because you want everyone to be happy for you but when they're not it makes it even harder to go with your heart. But I'd say go for it and prove them wrong :)

Exactly, Chase always calls me a people pleaser and tells me that I can't always please everybody. And I guess this is one of those times that I need to listen to him! Because no matter what, there'll at least be one person that doesn't want us to. But I guess we gotta do what WE feel is right because it's our lives, not theirs. :)

Yeah there will always be that someone that doesn't approve but you have to go with what is bet for you guys as a couple. And yeah I'd definitely go with your heart :)

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